Wiser With Age

Tag: writing

  • Author Francisco Stork: Advice to Young Writers

    Author Francisco Stork: Advice to Young Writers


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    “What advice would you give a writer starting out?†is the question I am always asked at the end of one of my talks to high school students. I have thought about this question long and hard trying to come up with an answer that will be truly helpful. There are so many possibilities. Do I talk about developing skills or do I talk about attitude, about the mind-frame needed to write something that matters, something capable of touching hearts? In the end, I tell the young person about the one thing that helped me the most: writing every day in my journal.

    I started writing in my journal when I was a sophomore in high school and have been doing it almost every day since then. I am now 65 years old. I’m too scared to do the math and count how many entries this makes. In a closet in the basement of my house there is a stack of notebooks that goes almost to the ceiling. If I were to search for the first entry, I would probably find something very melodramatic about the unbearable sadness of unrequited love . . .and a few pages later, something with a lot of restless adjectives about a new possible love. These days the entries are more like silent prayer.

    I became a writer in those journals. At some point in my mid-forties there came a facility, an ease of vocabulary and imagination that allowed me to create characters that were part of me, yet were not me, and stories that were connected to yet separate from my own life story. Looking back, I see the journal as the equivalent of the scales that the pianist plays or the free-throws that the athlete repeats, alone in his back yard, one after another. My journal is where the habit needed for every skill was formed. The journal is where thought turned into instinct. The words that drip out slowly at first eventually start to flow as if they needed time and attention to feel fully welcomed.

    My journal gave me the gift of unconsciousness and of consciousness. Unconsciousness, because what I really want to say to that young person asking for advice is to forget about all those things she thinks writing will bring: fame, security, lots of people admiring you and loving you. Forget about the results, which more than anything else will paralyze you, or push you to write words that will not last, and instead focus on the effort. Love the trying, if you can. Offer your work to God, or life, and let them take care of whatever happens to your work after you finish. This is what I would like to say, but instead, I talk about writing in a journal every day because the practice of writing with the knowledge that no one will read what you write will, if you keep at it, eventually give you the freedom of knowing that what you write matters even if you are never famous, even if no one ever reads your words. This is the gift of unconsciousness that journal writing gives.  The journal’s gift of consciousness is the awareness that develops inside of you. The awareness of feelings and thoughts and of the universal humanity that is reflected in you and of which you are a part. You explore sadness and joy and ugly things too, like envy and anger, and when it comes time to invent the characters in your novels, you can create their souls from the first-hand experience of your own soul.

    This is what I want to say to the young person that wants to be a writer. But I can tell that she won’t like an answer that involves day after day of dedicated purpose. Start now, and maybe in 10 years, or 20, or 40, you will have something that the world finally recognizes as valuable. My dear young person doesn’t want an answer that requires years of working without anyone knowing he is working. She wants something that will happen before the junior-senior prom. Still, I go ahead and tell him about writing in a journal, about writing day after day to save my soul, sometimes my life. I tell him. Write in a journal every day. Write as if your soul and your life depended on it. The rest will take care of itself.

    Francisco X. Stork is a former attorney and an award-winning author of seven teen fiction novels. He often uses themes of his own life as inspiration for his writing. “The Memory of Light” is inspired by Stork’s own experience with depression, and “Marcelo in the Real World” is about a teen boy labeled as having a developmental disorder. Read more about his personal journey here. 

  • Author Bob Brody on “Playing Catch with Strangers”

    Author Bob Brody on “Playing Catch with Strangers”


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bob Brody speaking at his book signing for “Playing Catch with Strangers” at the Forest Hills Library on September 16, 2017. (Courtesy Bob Brody)

    In “Playing Catch with Strangers,â€Â an essay published in The New York Times in 2015, Bob Brody writes that he played catch with his father only once in his life.

    “That summer afternoon, I felt about as happy as I’d ever felt. That’s how it goes when you’re 8 years old and playing catch with your dad,†writes Brody. “But then my father got busy with work, too busy to play catch with me anymore, always leaving early in the morning and returning late at night, and that turned out to be that. He had to do what he had to do.â€

    Although short-lived, that special day ignited a flame in Brody’s life that would never extinguish – one that would continually remind him the importance of having fun and nurturing relationships throughout his life. In addition to becoming a public relations executive and a writer, Brody, now 65, still makes it his joyous duty to play catch with anyone who is interested.

    His memoir, comprised of the many personal essays he’s written throughout his life about family and special moments, is similarly titled, “Playing Catch with Strangers: A Family Guy (Reluctantly) Comes of Age,â€Â and hit shelves this past June.

    “My new book covers my whole life…It’s a celebration,†says Brody. “It’s about my struggle to overcome immaturity. I resisted responsibility for a long time…It wasn’t until I was 35 [when my daughter was born] that I developed a real hard work ethic.â€

    He says his whole life he’d only wanted to be a writer.

    “That ambition took shape when I was 12,†recalls Brody, who ended up writing for his junior high, high school, and then college paper. “My grandfather bought me a New York Daily News subscription so I could read about the Yankees. I appreciated the directness of the language. I really didn’t get serious about writing till I was 18 – in college. Writing for the school paper, I became infatuated with words. I was not much of a storyteller at that point. I was just looking to see what I could do with language. I used to use big words – words that I will probably never use again. I’ve come to recognize short words can be good, short sentences can be good…I like street language too.â€

    He says if he had to do it all over, he really doesn’t know what else he could’ve become.

    “I guess I could’ve become a lawyer, but then I would’ve written about being a lawyer,†says Brody, smiling.

    Born in the Bronx, Brody lived there almost three years before migrating to the suburbs of Fair Lawn, NJ. He was always smitten with NYC, however, as he would often sleep over his grandparents’ house there, and his grandmother would take him to all the museums and concert halls, including Radio City Music Hall.

    At 23, after majoring in English at Fairleigh Dickinson University, he moved to Manhattan. This momentous occasion also led to his proudest career moment at 26 – getting published in The New York Times.

    “I wrote about the time I got mugged five weeks into living in New York City,†laughs Brody, who has since lived in Forest Hills, Queens for the past 40 years.

    Since his big break, Brody’s work has appeared in publications such as The Atlantic, The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal, and more. He also wrote the book, “Edge Against Cancer,†which profiles 12 athletes who survived cancer and were able to return to competing in their respective sports.

    He says it was when his son and daughter were born that he realized he needed to find another source of income.

    “The only option I considered was public relations, because a lot of it is writing,†says Brody, who has now worked in PR for the past 26 years. “I majored in English, but I never trained for public relations. It was a tough adjustment, because for one, I was used to working on my own. I was used to being a solo act. When you work for a public relations firm, I had to learn how to be a teammate.â€

    At his full-time job, he says his work partly entails writing pitches, ghost writing op-eds, white papers, or memos.

    “My ideal life would be to write whatever I wanted for at least three hours a day, but I think PR is good for me,†says Brody, adding that he usually enjoys writing first thing in the morning. “If I had to write only what I wanted, I might get sick of my own voice.â€

    His first love will always be writing essays though. The very first short story he wrote was about a haunted house when he about 8, and currently, he writes approximately 20 essays a year.

    “I love telling a story that’s going to hit people where they live – make them smarter, or get them excited about something,†says Brody. “If I can write anything inspirational, that’s the holy grail. I also like the sense of control. It’s me and the blank screen. Me and the words, and how I want to tell the story. It’s fun to get published. I write to be read. All these years later, and I still never get tired of it.â€

    He says his five year plan entails writing three more books — the first being called, “Letters to My Kids,â€Â of which he already started an online blog (where he urges others to also write journals to their children), another would be a memoir honoring his deaf parents, and the last would be a memoir about working in public relations.

    “When I’ve written about something, I really feel like I’ve lived it,†says Brody about the necessity he feels to document his life with words. “I think I have much of it there in my new book– and it’s about the people closest to my heart.â€

    There are two pieces of advice about life he’s learned thus far that he would’ve liked to share with his younger self:

    “On family – I wish I knew years ago what family means to me now,†says Brody. “I feel I failed early on to realize the importance of family. In some respects, I’m too late and in some, I’m just on time…and work harder. You have less time than you think. The world is never going to come to you so take nothing for granted.â€

  • How writing her life story led a woman to inner healing

    How writing her life story led a woman to inner healing


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Maria Aponte (Photo/George Malave)

    Maria Aponte was born and raised an only child in East Harlem, otherwise known as “El Barrio,†in New York City, to Puerto Rican parents.

    Because she lost her mother at 16, and her father at 22, loneliness was a battle she fought most of her life, but it was also what made her the undefeated warrior and artist that she is today. And perhaps, the eternal yearning for parental guidance and wisdom, is what drove her to create a non-profit which honors elders later in life.

    At 60, Aponte has achieved much. She has written and performed two one-woman plays, the autobiographical “Lagrimas de mis Madres,†and “I Will Not Be Silenced,†based on the life of Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. She has also written a poetry book, and a memoir, “The Gift of Loss,†which most recently hit shelves. In addition to working full-time in career development at Fordham University, she also started a non-profit called Latina 50 Plus four years ago, through which she honors other Latina pioneers over the age of 50.

    “I got the opportunity to tell my story in “Lagrimas de mis madres,†says Aponte about the play based on the women in her family, which she wrote during her undergrad years.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Aponte performing in her one woman show, “Lagrimas de Mis Madres.” (Photo/Elena Marrero)

    She says the story came easily, because she wrote the script using the poetry she had written throughout her youth.

    “I wanted to tell this story, because I was the last woman in my family, and I thought it could help others,†says Aponte, adding that she knew her work touched the audience when people would wait in the lobby to thank her for her courage to tell her story. “Eventually, it became a full-length play on off-Broadway. I took it on the road for 10 and a half years around the country.â€

    Because she was not the “typical looking Puerto Rican actress” of the time, she explains, like Rita Moreno – but more Afro-Latina in appearance, Aponte says she found she would get more work if she wrote plays herself. Her next play about Sor Juana de la Cruz, she also developed into a one-woman show and took it on tour around the country.

    “I was an introvert, and I think the arts saved me,†says Aponte, about how she dealt with the early death of her mother. “Even though it was painful, I was always able to use my art to deal with my pain.â€

    She says she knew she was born to be an artist as young as age 7.

    “I knew I wanted to be in the theater ever since I was a munchkin in the school play, ‘The Wizard of Oz’ – I connected to the stage,†says Aponte. “I was jumping up and down one day, and I smelled dust from the wooden planks of the stage, and I loved the smell. My first influence was my drama teacher at 13 – I was learning lines and stage plotting…I knew then that I knew I would be an artist, and I always have been in some form.â€

    She adds that her favorite medium will always be theater.

    “I love live theater,†says Aponte. “When I do a poetry reading, I end up performing…To me, it’s not just memorizing lines but developing character and taking the audience on a journey. I fell into the poetry thing in the 80’s, and that’s when I started writing more. My saving grace was the Nuyorican Poet’s Café. When I walked in, I felt like I was walking into El Barrio. That’s where I discovered my Puerto Rican pride, and where I connected with elders like Pedro Pietri.â€

    She says she also learned a lot from the late Miriam Colon who was the founder and director of NYC’s Puerto Rican Traveling Theater.

    “My elders taught me about my history and my culture,†says Aponte, who moved to the Bronx in the 1980’s, where she still resides today with her husband and fellow storyteller, Bobby Gonzalez.

    Now that she’s older, she would like to return the same favor and be an example for the youth she encounters.

    Aponte has led a structured presence, in her otherwise diversified creative life, working full-time at Fordham University for the past 19 years. She has spent time in various departments, but has stayed in career services for the past 11 years – in the managing diversity initiative, and in 2014 she simultaneously completed her MA in Latino Studies.

    “I don’t think you should stay stuck,†says Aponte. “I love the life I live today. A typical month could also involve sitting on panels and supporting other artists’ work. My heart is in the betterment and development of women of color.â€

    For herself, she realized how life growth happens in stages, over time, and she tries to teach that to others.

    “I was always telling my story in pieces. I have played my grandmother, mother, myself as a child, and as a woman,†says Aponte. “I would never address my father. My parents separated when I was two. My dad was actually not a bad person, just an alcoholic. He was a percussionist and could sing…but I never experienced him myself, just from what I heard from others. I wanted to write also about forgiveness.â€

    Through her writing, Aponte says she has documented the amount of years it took her to become her own woman.

    “It is about coming to terms with who you are, and thinking, ‘Wow, I went through all that,’ she says. “I have a tremendous gratitude for life. Like right now as I’m speaking to you, I’m smiling.â€

    She adds that most people don’t want to deal with emotion, but everyone has to at their own timing.

    “People say I’m so calm, but I say it’s a lot of work,†says Aponte. “The best I can do is plant a little seed.â€

    Why she created Latina 50 Plus?

    “In the industry I work in, career development, I felt that older Latina women were disappearing,†says Aponte. “I felt I needed to create a space where their history wouldn’t be lost. We need to honor the elders who rolled up their sleeves before us.â€

    Latina 50 Plus is a non-profit currently in its fourth year. The fourth annual luncheon, taking place on June, 24, will be honoring seven women in the fields of art, community service, education, medicine, law and literature.

    The next goal, she says, is a mentoring program.

    Her advice to her younger self?

    “Being a child caregiver, I would ignore myself,†says Aponte. “I had to really work hard on that. That’s how my brain worked. That could be your own obstacle…You have to have passion and persistence, because if you don’t, you can get swallowed up in the mundane stuff. You must discover yourself. Ask yourself, ‘Who am I?’ Everyone is going to have that moment. Don’t be afraid of it. Accept yourself with all of your imperfections. It’s ok if you mess up.â€

  • NYPD lieutenant talks about becoming a co-author with his dad

    NYPD lieutenant talks about becoming a co-author with his dad


    Jon and Bernard Whalen are a father and son writing-duo who recently released their second co-authored book, “The NYPD’s First Fifty Years: Politicians, Police Commissioners and Patrolmen.†The book includes a look back at the formation of the New York Police Department in 1898 and the heroism, and even corruption, that has taken place within the organization since then. The book signing will take place February 18 in Queens, NY.

    Bernard, 57, is currently a lieutenant in the NYPD and has worked in the force for 30 years. He switched careers from a physical education teacher to the police force many years ago and has not left since. He says he also greatly enjoys writing in his spare time – something he learned from his father, Jon.

    Jon, 79, now a retired English teacher, began his career as a corrections officer at Sing Sing and Auburn prisons. However, he decided to leave that role for his love of English and teaching students. According to Bernard, switching careers was unusual for his father’s time, but he says watching his father follow his passion for teaching encouraged him to pursue his own passions as well.

    Later, Bernard came up with an idea to publish a novel with his dad. In 2000, they published their first fiction thriller, “Justifiable Homicide.”

    Bernard and Jon, or B.J. Whalen, as they call themselves, are working on other novels and hoping to extend “The NYPD’s First Fifty Years.”

    *Jon Whalen could not attend the interview due to health issues.

     

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Kelly Carrion, is a multimedia journalist who believes in the incredible influence storytelling has on people, and how they view the world. That is why she has made it her mission to tell compelling stories about extraordinary people. Her articles have been featured on NBCNews.com, NBCLatino.com, LowellSun.com and Nashoba Publishing. She is a recent Boston University graduate. Follow Kelly on Twitter @kellycarrion12.