Wiser With Age

Tag: Wiser With Age

  • 7 principles to building healthy relationships that last

    7 principles to building healthy relationships that last


     

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Photo/ Old People Holding Hands blog

    Are you a people builder or a people basher?

    Relationships can be extremely complicated, yet they are a part of every aspect of daily life – from leading a successful business to having an emotionally stable family. Thankfully, building and maintaining quality relationships entails only seven key principles.

    1. Trust

    All relationships are based on trust. To build trust, you must be trustworthy and remain consistent and dependable with everything you say and do.  You should be the kind of person who is absolutely reliable in every situation.

    2. Respect

    Take time to purposely express your respect for the people around you. You will find that it makes them feel valuable and important. In addition, make sure you are a careful and attentive listener. When you listen carefully, and with total attention, you demonstrate the respect you have for a person’s uniqueness. This will greatly enhance the quality of your relationship.

    3. Time

    How much time you physically spend with another person is a critical and elemental factor in communicating well with another person. The value of a relationship can increase for both you and the other person depending on the amount of time that you invest in it.

    4. Politeness

    When you say “please†and “thank you†on a regular basis to the people in your life, you make them feel better about themselves. You raise their self-esteem, make them feel honored and important, and they feel good about what they are doing.

    5. Caring

    The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. Stop criticizing, condemning or complaining to people or to others, and start thinking of yourself as a people builder rather than a people basher.

    People builders acknowledge others when they are doing something right. So, always look for ways to make people feel more valued, respected, loved and appreciated.

    7. Praise and appreciation

    Remember, the three most powerful words in any relationship are the words “I love you.â€Â Take the time to show and tell the most important people in your life that you love them, and do it in many different ways, and as often as possible. Never take for granted that you’re loved ones should “just know†you love them…tell them! Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. 

    When you express your appreciation to another person for something they do for you, they feel better about themselves, and they want to do more of it.

    7. Cooperation

    Be willing to share, contribute, and help each other while having a pleasant attitude. This is an important facet of lasting relationships.

    One of the easiest, most inexpensive ways to build empowering relationships is by always greeting people with a smile. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.â€

    I say, “Smile! It increases your face value!â€

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • Master yogi, 75, is expert in 1,350 postures

    Master yogi, 75, is expert in 1,350 postures


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Sri Dharma Mittra near the lake at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York, August of 2009. (Photo/Lily Cushman Frindel)

    While most New Yorkers are scrambling around, stressed, and in a hurry, Master Yogi Sri Dharma Mittra is often in a faraway, much more peaceful place mentally, and sometimes physically upside down.

    Often referred to as the “Teacher’s Teacher†by his hundreds of students at the Dharma Yoga Center in New York City, Mittra has taught many prominent yoga instructors in the city since he began teaching the ancient art in 1967. Today, at 75, he still teaches yoga twice a day, five days a week.

    “My favorite pose is the headstand, because the blood comes down to the head, and it increases mental ability,†says the yoga guru.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Sri Dharma in London, Summer of 2010. The pose is a variation of Nirlamba Shirshasana — a hands-free headstand. (Photo/Hugh Herrera)

    Mittra is an expert in more than a thousand poses, however. When he was 45, he photographed himself in 1,350 postures as an act of devotion to his guru – Yogi Gupta. The Master Yoga Chart, which hangs in yoga studios worldwide, is made up of 908 of these photos. And, 608 of these photos were published in his book “Asanas.â€

    “I moved to New York City in September, 1964, and I lived here since then,†says Mittra who was born in the remote village of Pirapora, Brazil and was raised Catholic among a poor family of five children. “I came here for more opportunity…there is also more freedom here, and my guru was here, so I had to be here.â€

    He says he was around 17 or 18 when he learned about yoga through the books his younger brother was studying.

    “As soon as I learned that the purpose of yoga was self-control, I got really enthusiastic about it,†remembers Mittra. “Yoga comes from about 5,000 years ago in India. Now, we have yoga styles that fit all types of people on the planet.â€

    He says he usually follows the form called Asana – the one based on postures.

    “That technique gives you mental, physical and spiritual power,†says Mittra. “We use these three powers to achieve success in whatever we want. More mental control – your mind becomes extremely sharp…It is like going from AM to FM radio – better quality of music.â€

    Being a follower of Asana, requires Mittra to also be a vegetarian.

    “Being a vegetarian, you rarely get sick,†he says. “I haven’t seen a doctor for 50 years. When you do the poses, your body doesn’t hurt much and you get less injuries.â€

    Mittra is also a champion of meditation – an integral component of yoga, he explains. He has been doing it for so long now, that it has become almost an involuntary habit for him.

    “Meditation doesn’t mean you have to be sitting – you can be walking,†explains Mittra. “I also meditate lying down on the floor, but not sleeping. I put my body in a deep relaxation. Deep inside you ask yourself where you are in your heart, your mind, and you go outside of body consciousness. I keep my mind somewhere else, not on worries.â€

    For today’s youth, he advises them to have compassion for all beings.

    “Learn how to see yourself in others,†says Mittra. “From there, you become more respectful… Form a good diet. Be vegetarian, and don’t cook food too much. If you don’t like yoga, you must be active. Be moderate in sex. Get involved in meditation. Without it, you won’t have inner peace.â€

     

  • Surround yourself with like-minded people to become the person you strive to be


     

    Societal pressures are so strong,  it is likely that every turning point in your life is strongly influenced by other people. From the courses you take in school, the books you read, the music you listen to, and the seminars you attend, they are all almost always the result of a suggestion from someone you respect.

    Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University did a 25-year study on the characteristics of achievement motivated people. He found that, the single most important factor in success is your “reference group.†Your reference group is made up of the people with whom you habitually associate and identify. These are the people with whom you live, work, and interact with on a daily basis.

    Your reference group has a powerful effect on the person you are today, and on the person you will become tomorrow. The friends with whom you socialize with have an enormous impact on everything you do and accomplish.

    Every major turning point in your life will coincide with the development of a new group of friends and associates. The significance of that is when you change the people you associate with, it often leads to a complete change of aspirations, goals, work routines, and levels of achievement.

    Many successful people are very conscious about their choice of friends, associates and colleagues. They surround themselves with the people that will take them from where they are to where they want to be.

    Studies indicate that the top 20 percent of high achievers strongly identified with other high achievers, even before they had had a chance to accomplish very much in life. Their role models were men and women at the top of their organizations. High achievers did not identify with the average people around them. Their sights were set much higher. And in almost no time at all, they were up among the top 20 percent, exactly as they had planned.

    There are several things that you can do to make the changes in life you desire:

    1. Associate with the right people, ask for their advice, and follow it.

    2. Make every effort to overcome the obstacles within yourself that might be holding you back.

    3. To make meaningful and lasting change, you must set clear priorities. Focus on what is valuable, and relevant, rather than waste your time on what is small and insignificant.

    4. Have a “sense of urgency,†a desire and a drive to make the change.

    5. Start at work. Deliberately and systematically make efforts to meet people who you know can help you. Engage in the same behaviors that created their achievement. Remember you achieve a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way.

    6. Develop the essential skills that you need.

    The wonderful thing about the change process is that it is totally under your control. It depends on no one else, and it is an ongoing journey. In other words, you are a continual “do-it yourself” project.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • The importance of mental training for becoming a champion in life


     

    Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest professional boxers in the sport’s history once said, “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.â€

    Mental training is the key for success in life. You have to be mentally tough to be a champion in your personal life. You need the mental attitude saying, “I want to.â€

    To be mentally tough involves specific proven techniques such as, setting goals, believing in yourself, improving your concentration, using imagery, overcoming obstacles and conquering anxiety.

    Each one of these techniques is strongly based on science. If you incorporate all of them into your life, you will empower yourself beyond your wildest dreams.

    The most powerful tool you have is your mind. When your mind is undisciplined, it can be very damaging to you, but when you discipline your mind, it can develop unlimited power.

    The book of James in the Bible, Chapter 1 says, “a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.†Too often we are crippled by analysis paralysis. We need to move away from the analytical side of our brain and learn how to use our mind in ways that will allow us to reach our full potential.

    Here are some tools to enhance your personal performance:

     1. Posture. Your posture  is a direct link to the brain, and it can dramatically influence your self-esteem and your performance. How you stand, and how you present yourself, can instantly transform your self confidence and how others respond to you.

     2. Power talk. Research shows that positive self talk can make you more confident and focused.

    3. Visualization. Use all your senses to create vivid images that can prepare you to train and perform at your highest level. Use the “flash back” technique to recreate vivid pictures of past success. Embrace those feelings of accomplishments – the sights, sounds, emotions, and thoughts, and allow them to prepare you for future achievements.

    4. Action. If you are serious about improving your life you need to do more than hope or wish. The difference between your dreams remaining a fantasy, or becoming real, is your resiliency, your consistency, perseverance, and your commitment to action. That internal energy creates the enthusiasm that keeps you working toward your personal goals.

    5. Make goals. To remain positive, and confident, think about your goals all the time. You won’t give up when things don’t go right the first time; you will go back and do it again. If you can’t go through the obstacles ahead, you will go around them. If you can’t go around them, you will go over them, and if you can’t go over them, you will go under them.

    6. Be creative and experiment. Rather than thinking about quitting, say to yourself, “I don’t like the results I am getting, so what do I need to do differently?†Remember that we reap what we sow. If you don’t like what you are reaping, it is time to sow something new.

    7. Realize your limitations are only temporary. Often our limitations are self-imposed. If you find yourself trapped, or stuck, your best ally is your passion, your determination, your attitude, and self motivation that will separate you from the rest.

    Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight — it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

    Once you stretch your mind with a new idea, it can never go back to its original dimension.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

     

  • The key to the “law of increase” – everything you do counts


    One of the greatest success principles of life is called, “the law of increase.” According to this law, everything accumulates over time.

    This law says that everything great, and worthwhile, in human life is an accumulation of hundreds, and sometimes thousands, of tiny efforts and sacrifices that nobody ever sees or appreciates. Sometimes, you have to put in many tiny efforts that nobody sees, or appreciates, before you achieve anything worthwhile.

    There are three areas where the “law of increase” is important:

    1. The area of knowledge.

    Any person with a large knowledge base has spent thousands of hours building that knowledge base one piece at a time. What you see when you meet the individual is an expert in his or her field. That makes him/her very valuable in the marketplace.

    Begin today to build your knowledge base in the subject that can be most helpful to you in achieving your goals in your health, your finances, and your relationships. Whether it takes a week, a month, or a year, to become thoroughly knowledgeable, it doesn’t matter.

    2. The area of health.

    Every healthy person has made his, or her, health a priority. Their wellness has nothing to do with their genetics, but everything to do with their commitment to live their lives to the fullest and healthiest way.

    When you set your goals, and you begin to move in that direction, it sets up a force, or a  field of energy, that triggers the law of attraction. As a result, you begin to attract health into your life.

    You can start at any stage of your journey by taking small steps. Start by walking 20 minutes a day, for example. Slowly increase the time and intensity of your workouts with time.

    3. The area of experience.

    You’ll find that successful people, in any field, are those who have far more experience in that field than the average person; and there is no other trait that can replace experience.

    Whether it’s in business or entrepreneurship, management or parenting, many people do not take the risks that are necessary to move out of their comfort zone, because they’re afraid it won’t work out. But the fact is, until you move out of your comfort zone, and get more experience from making mistakes, it’s not possible for you to grow and become capable of earning the kind of money that you desire.

    Get as much experience as you can in your chosen field. Start a little earlier, work a little harder and stay a little later. Take risks, and try every different way you can think of to achieve your goal.

    The key to the “law of increase” is: everything you do counts.

    The biggest mistake people make is they think only what they want to count counts. For example, when you read a book, listen to an audio program, go to a class, go to bed early and get up early and work, it all counts and has a positive effect. However, when you watch television, waste time, hang out, fool around, and so on, all of that counts as well – but it’s going to have a negative impact.

    A person, who has a great life, by the “law of increase,” is a person who’s accumulated far more credits on the credit side than debits on the debit side.

    If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it’s moving you away from your goals. Nothing is neutral. Everything that you’re doing is either moving you toward the things that you want to accomplish in life, the person you want to be, the health and wealth you want to accumulate, or it’s moving you away.

    Make sure you are loving every moment in this wonderful journey called life. That only happens when we take responsibility of choosing growth, and change, and refuse to be boxed-in by age, money or any self-imposed limitation by ourselves, or others.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€