Wiser With Age

Tag: wise words

  • In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up

    In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bélgica circa 1982 at 27 on her wedding day.

    As I’ve said many times before my mom is my best friend, but I also share her. My mom is one of my great friend’s best friends. I’m not kidding. Since I left Miami, they have served as a support system for one another. It’s kind of adorable!

    I also know that they share secrets and trash talk about me. They’re two golden girls who enjoy grabbing a margarita at the nearby Mexican restaurant.

    Unfortunately, my friend has a habit that he sometimes forgets about dates he scheduled with my mom. Or he’ll sometimes set his alarm for 5pm, instead of 5am, when he’s supposed to drive her to the airport. Thankfully, he’s a self-proclaimed “mess,†and really good looking, so we just roll our eyes at him. But, every time my mom gets stood up she says:

    “Me dejo vestida y alborotada como novia de pueblo!â€

    (Loosely translated: I was left all dressed up and ready to go like a small town bride!)

    Not sure how factual this is, but it seems as if back in the day small town brides would get stood up. I’ve never witnessed it, but I have seen it in novelas (Spanish language soap operas) –  so I’m going with it! It’s her funny way to think about what is many times a frustrating situation. My mom always tries to put a positive and comical spin on things. After all, what else can you do?

    But, she did make a beautiful bride 30+ years ago. So, I guess it’s not so terrible after all.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done

    In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    My mom is pretty pragmatic. She doesn’t dwell and tries to finds solutions rather than sit there and overanalyze. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m quite the dweller. I’ll think of a solution and get it handled in the moment, but then I’ll go back after the fact and think, overanalyze, ruminate, question and drive myself crazy.

    Most people say they don’t have regrets because every decision they’ve made has made them the person they are. Sooner or later you’re supposed to always get an answer to your “why,†right? I’m currently at a phase in my life where I have an unanswered “why.†Of course, in my domino effect of a brain lacking the answer to this “why†connects to many things, even my car. Yes, I’m that much of a looney tune. Hey, at least I’m self-aware!

    When I was talking to my mom about this she said to me:

    Agua pasada no mueve molino.

              (Bygone streams don’t power windmills.)

    Honestly, I don’t know when in her life she’s ever, if ever, lived near a windmill or where this refrán (saying) came from. What I will say is that when she said this to me it rattled my mind, and I laughed. Point is, she made me feel better by referencing some mythical windmill, and it was a nice reminder of why I go to her.

    She doesn’t have an answer for everything, because no one does, but she always pulls through with just the right words.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: When I played a practical joke on my mother

    In My Mother’s Words: When I played a practical joke on my mother


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    My last semester in college I was the morning show intern at a Spanish language radio station. One of the segments on the morning show was called “Oye Que Te Cojo†(“Hey, I got you.”) Basically, fans would call in with ideas for a prank call and the main host would execute it and play it on air. Well, one day he asked me why we didn’t play a practical joke on my mom. I was ALL for it.

    We started brainstorming, and he suggested maybe telling my mom I was pregnant. I told him she wouldn’t believe that. However, the one thing my mom ALWAYS worries about is drinking and driving. That was it! I would call my mom and tell her I got pulled over and arrested for a DUI.

    The next day, I called her and told her I had gotten pulled over after a night out. I put on my best crying voice, exaggerated the story, and said I argued with the cop and even flicked him off. It was two weeks before graduation and I told her I didn’t know if I’d be allowed to graduate. NOT ONCE did she get mad. All she kept saying was:

    Ayyy Victoria! Por qué, Victoria?! Por qué?!

             (Ohhh Victoria! Why, Victoria?! Why?!)

    Then, in the middle of it all, the host of the morning show starts talking to her about the situation without even introducing himself. The most bizarre thing was the fact she didn’t question who this strange man talking to her was! He finally told her it was just a prank, and none of it was true. Poor thing. When I called her, after the fact, she told me when she answered my call she was driving and had to pull over because she got cold sweats.

    What I will say is that was a reminder of the unconditional love my mom has for us. She could’ve lost her mind, she would’ve had every right to. She wasn’t mad – she was disappointed, which is arguably worse. She didn’t yell, curse or condemn me. Knowing her, she was racking her brain to figure out how to fix this for her daughter – a daughter who pulled a horrible prank on her mother for thousands of people in the city of Orlando to hear.

    You can listen to the audio (in Spanish) here.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: On being independent

    In My Mother’s Words: On being independent


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    I’ve always been terrible at building things. I’m impatient and try to skip steps.

    Recently, I moved into a new home and decided to give this building furniture thing a try. Not only did I build my dresser all by myself, but I built my bed frame as well! I felt like it was a victory for all womankind!

    Granted, it’s not suffrage or anything, but with the help of Romeo Santos and some determination I got the job done! (Full disclosure: My male roommate totally volunteered to help me. When I told him I had finished it, he was “hurt and excited,†because it was supposed to be a “community project.†I told him it wasn’t personal and reassured him it was me and not him.)

    After I built my dresser and told a friend he said me, “I’m always impressed with you.†Building furniture is nothing impressive, but I think he reacted this way because he’s always complimented me on how independent I am. I grew up in a home where my mom painted the house on her own, she checked the oil in her car and even changed her tires. She never waited on anyone, and she never asked anyone for help. She always said she didn’t want to inconvenience others.

    My mother has always told me:

    Naciste sola y vas a morir sola.

    (You were born by yourself, and you’re going to die by yourself.)

    Are these words harsh? Yeah. Are they true? Yes. By no means did she give me this advice so I would think I’d spend my final days alone. She said this so I would learn to be independent and not wait on others to make decisions or to do things. Today was one of those days I found myself repeating those words.

    This phrase has molded me beyond words. I love to vacation alone. I love challenging myself. To a certain point, I even love doubting myself. It’s like one side of my brain taunts the other and says, “You can’t do this.†Meanwhile, the other defiantly replies, “Watch me.â€

    My mother is a woman who has done it ALL by herself. I don’t know if I can be at her level, but I can sure as hell try!

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: Birds of a feather

    In My Mother’s Words: Birds of a feather


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    I’ve told you all how my mother always made sure we surrounded ourselves with good influences. Most of all, she always reminded us to be proud of the person we are and not to change for anyone. We’ve all heard the expression, “Birds of a feather flock together.†It’s kind of terrible but kind of true all at the same time. The Spanish version of this, which I always heard, is…

    Dime con quién andas, y te dire quién eres.

    (Tell me who you surround yourself with and I’ll tell you who you are.)

    This brings me to my best friend/amiga, Valerie. Valerie had her engagement party this past weekend. We truly believe we are the same person, and that we are both getting married. Her fiancé agrees. We’re old souls, pesada (lack sensitivity), intelligent and have the honor of being born to INCREDIBLE mothers.

    We enjoy having drag show brunch dates with our favorite gals. Afterward, we’ll go hang out at the Clevelander on South Beach. These are the type of people we are. We are these people because of the women who raised us. Women who are retired and enjoy life as if they’re in their 30s. They’re still in their prime.

    My mom was in Honduras for Christmas, and I went to Sandra’s (Valerie’s mom) house. I’m always welcomed with open arms. Valerie has embarrassingly inappropriate conversations with my mom. She’s told my little mom she’d like to stick her in her purse and just carry her around. There’s a confianza (familiarity) that I hadn’t experience prior to this friendship.

    These women gave up everything for their children. They raised us to be loyal, caring, supportive and accepting. We followed their example, and in turn, these children found each other and established a formidable friendship. A friendship where there is loyalty – we care, we’re supportive and accepting.

    As Valerie and I always say, “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.â€

    Glad we all flock together, amigas!

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€