Wiser With Age

Tag: poetry

  • How writing her life story led a woman to inner healing

    How writing her life story led a woman to inner healing

    Maria Aponte (Photo/George Malave)

    Maria Aponte was born and raised an only child in East Harlem, otherwise known as “El Barrio,” in New York City, to Puerto Rican parents.

    Because she lost her mother at 16, and her father at 22, loneliness was a battle she fought most of her life, but it was also what made her the undefeated warrior and artist that she is today. And perhaps, the eternal yearning for parental guidance and wisdom, is what drove her to create a non-profit which honors elders later in life.

    At 60, Aponte has achieved much. She has written and performed two one-woman plays, the autobiographical “Lagrimas de mis Madres,” and “I Will Not Be Silenced,” based on the life of Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz. She has also written a poetry book, and a memoir, “The Gift of Loss,” which most recently hit shelves. In addition to working full-time in career development at Fordham University, she also started a non-profit called Latina 50 Plus four years ago, through which she honors other Latina pioneers over the age of 50.

    “I got the opportunity to tell my story in “Lagrimas de mis madres,” says Aponte about the play based on the women in her family, which she wrote during her undergrad years.

    Aponte performing in her one woman show, “Lagrimas de Mis Madres.” (Photo/Elena Marrero)

    She says the story came easily, because she wrote the script using the poetry she had written throughout her youth.

    “I wanted to tell this story, because I was the last woman in my family, and I thought it could help others,” says Aponte, adding that she knew her work touched the audience when people would wait in the lobby to thank her for her courage to tell her story. “Eventually, it became a full-length play on off-Broadway. I took it on the road for 10 and a half years around the country.”

    Because she was not the “typical looking Puerto Rican actress” of the time, she explains, like Rita Moreno – but more Afro-Latina in appearance, Aponte says she found she would get more work if she wrote plays herself. Her next play about Sor Juana de la Cruz, she also developed into a one-woman show and took it on tour around the country.

    “I was an introvert, and I think the arts saved me,” says Aponte, about how she dealt with the early death of her mother. “Even though it was painful, I was always able to use my art to deal with my pain.”

    She says she knew she was born to be an artist as young as age 7.

    “I knew I wanted to be in the theater ever since I was a munchkin in the school play, ‘The Wizard of Oz’ – I connected to the stage,” says Aponte. “I was jumping up and down one day, and I smelled dust from the wooden planks of the stage, and I loved the smell. My first influence was my drama teacher at 13 – I was learning lines and stage plotting…I knew then that I knew I would be an artist, and I always have been in some form.”

    She adds that her favorite medium will always be theater.

    “I love live theater,” says Aponte. “When I do a poetry reading, I end up performing…To me, it’s not just memorizing lines but developing character and taking the audience on a journey. I fell into the poetry thing in the 80’s, and that’s when I started writing more. My saving grace was the Nuyorican Poet’s Café. When I walked in, I felt like I was walking into El Barrio. That’s where I discovered my Puerto Rican pride, and where I connected with elders like Pedro Pietri.”

    She says she also learned a lot from the late Miriam Colon who was the founder and director of NYC’s Puerto Rican Traveling Theater.

    “My elders taught me about my history and my culture,” says Aponte, who moved to the Bronx in the 1980’s, where she still resides today with her husband and fellow storyteller, Bobby Gonzalez.

    Now that she’s older, she would like to return the same favor and be an example for the youth she encounters.

    Aponte has led a structured presence, in her otherwise diversified creative life, working full-time at Fordham University for the past 19 years. She has spent time in various departments, but has stayed in career services for the past 11 years – in the managing diversity initiative, and in 2014 she simultaneously completed her MA in Latino Studies.

    “I don’t think you should stay stuck,” says Aponte. “I love the life I live today. A typical month could also involve sitting on panels and supporting other artists’ work. My heart is in the betterment and development of women of color.”

    For herself, she realized how life growth happens in stages, over time, and she tries to teach that to others.

    “I was always telling my story in pieces. I have played my grandmother, mother, myself as a child, and as a woman,” says Aponte. “I would never address my father. My parents separated when I was two. My dad was actually not a bad person, just an alcoholic. He was a percussionist and could sing…but I never experienced him myself, just from what I heard from others. I wanted to write also about forgiveness.”

    Through her writing, Aponte says she has documented the amount of years it took her to become her own woman.

    “It is about coming to terms with who you are, and thinking, ‘Wow, I went through all that,’ she says. “I have a tremendous gratitude for life. Like right now as I’m speaking to you, I’m smiling.”

    She adds that most people don’t want to deal with emotion, but everyone has to at their own timing.

    “People say I’m so calm, but I say it’s a lot of work,” says Aponte. “The best I can do is plant a little seed.”

    Why she created Latina 50 Plus?

    “In the industry I work in, career development, I felt that older Latina women were disappearing,” says Aponte. “I felt I needed to create a space where their history wouldn’t be lost. We need to honor the elders who rolled up their sleeves before us.”

    Latina 50 Plus is a non-profit currently in its fourth year. The fourth annual luncheon, taking place on June, 24, will be honoring seven women in the fields of art, community service, education, medicine, law and literature.

    The next goal, she says, is a mentoring program.

    Her advice to her younger self?

    “Being a child caregiver, I would ignore myself,” says Aponte. “I had to really work hard on that. That’s how my brain worked. That could be your own obstacle…You have to have passion and persistence, because if you don’t, you can get swallowed up in the mundane stuff. You must discover yourself. Ask yourself, ‘Who am I?’ Everyone is going to have that moment. Don’t be afraid of it. Accept yourself with all of your imperfections. It’s ok if you mess up.”

  • Bronx poet uses storytelling to educate others about their history

    Bronx poet uses storytelling to educate others about their history

    Bobby Gonzalez (Photo/George Malave)

    Bobby Gonzalez has had practically every job you could think of — from a medical records clerk in a hospital to customer service at a utility company. However, he says it was at age 40 that he discovered his life’s calling and passion – storytelling. His favorite topic is his Puerto Rican and Taino heritage, which in turn, challenges his listeners to get curious about their own roots.

    Ever since that moment of enlightenment, storytelling is what Gonzalez devotes his life to. At 65, he still resides in his native Bronx, NY, with his wife Maria, but sometimes he doesn’t even know where he’ll end up the next day giving a workshop or lecture. So far, he’s spoken in 42 states — in the past two weeks alone, he’s been at Wellesley College in Massachusetts and Davidson College in North Carolina speaking about the racial and cultural diversity of Latinos. Next week, he’ll host his monthly spoken word event in Queens, NY.

    “When people ask me, ‘What do you do?’ I say, I’m an educator through lectures and poetry,” says Gonzalez, who has also authored two books, “The Last Puerto Rican,” and “Taino Zen.”  “I don’t know what’s going to happen the next minute. Occasionally, I get a phone call asking me, ‘Can you do this?’ and I do it. I’m not afraid to fail.”

    His second favorite job in life, he says, was working at his family’s bodega, which they owned for more than 30 years.

    “That’s where I really polished my speaking skills, and I heard a lot of great stories,” says Gonzalez, about the place which birthed his purpose. “It was quite an experience.”

    He says his parents also played an important role.

    “We were very fortunate, my brothers and I, to have had two Puerto Rican parents who always made the point to tell us where we came from and instilled in us a great pride of who we were,” says Gonzalez. “That inspired me to embark on a lifetime of personal research. I got my information from books and oral traditions – here and in Puerto Rico. When I was a little boy, my parents would take me to Puerto Rico, and I would sit at the feet of my great grandfather. He would tell me the stories of the old days, and I would roll my eyes, but I wish I listened more carefully.”

    Gonzalez can see clearly now that his ancestors grew up in a different world, and that gives him the incentive to tell their stories. One story in particular which has marked him is one of his mother’s arrival to New York from Puerto Rico via a train from Miami in the 1940’s.

    “She was very light-skinned, and when she got to Miami, the conductor told my dark-skinned grandmother to sit in another car,” recalls Gonzalez. “I have to remind young people they take a lot for granted – even the right to vote.”

    Gonzalez remembers the exact date he began documenting his family roots by writing poetry.

    “It was February 9, 1964,” he says without hesitation. “The Beatles appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show, and the day after, millions of kids around the world bought their own guitars and started to write their own music.”

    Storytelling came very naturally to him, he further explains.

    “Every day, I would go to the library, get some books, and then go down my block and tell stories,” says Gonzalez, who still has the same almost involuntary instinct years later. “I spend a lot of time in the Manhattan and the Bronx libraries,” where he sometimes also hosts spoken word nights for teens.

    He says one of his biggest career challenges also took place in a library while he was telling stories of his ancestors, the Taino people, who are an indigenous people of the Caribbean.

    “Once I was speaking in a library in Queens, and a man told me, ‘There are no Tainos left. I don’t know why you’re doing this.’ At the end, he came up to me and said, ‘I’m proud to be a Taino.’ I was taught by my parents never to say ‘You are wrong.’ We were all raised differently, so it’s important to dialogue in a civilized manner. We are all one.”

    Gonzalez says he used this parental wisdom when speaking at the University of Mississippi last year, as well.

    “We can’t have the same perspectives, and that’s okay, as long we listen to each other with respect,” he adds. “I meet students from Latin countries, and they don’t know about their indigenous heritage, and people who lived here their whole life don’t know American history. My favorite moment is always when people say, ‘I didn’t know that.’”

    Education is primordial for Gonzalez, even though his father only finished 2nd grade and his mom, 6th grade. He admits he never finished his bachelor’s degree in marketing, but he believes through his natural curiosity, he has learned so much more by devouring books on his own. And now he loves to share that knowledge with kids as young as pre-k, all the way to seniors.

    “I don’t have the sense of fear,” says Gonzalez about what has helped him the most in life. “The times now are nothing compared to what my parents went through. Police brutality was a lot more common back then, there were no bilingual services, and immigrant groups lived in one neighborhood. My brothers, and I went to college. We didn’t finish, but we did it, because my parents sacrificed for us.”

    What is the one piece of life advice he wishes he could tell his younger self today?

    “It gets better every day if you make the conscious effort to improve yourself passionately and persistently.” 

  • Civil rights era poet shares how he aims to create civility in today’s society

    Civil rights era poet shares how he aims to create civility in today’s society

    Poet E. Ethelbert Miller (Photo\Annie Kim)

    Eugene Ethelbert Miller, who goes by his middle name, “Ethelbert,” is a writer and literary activist who says he’s never been busier than at 66.

    Originally from the Bronx, NY, Miller made his way to Washington, D.C. to attend Howard University at 18. He’s been residing in the U.S. capitol ever since, where he’s written several collections of poetry, two memoirs and where he has served as editor of America’s oldest poetry journal, “Poet Lore.” His most recent book, “The Collected Poems of E. Ethelbert Miller,” hit shelves last year.

    The award-winning poet also loves to discuss history and politics, and thus currently hosts and produces half-hour segments with experts in different fields, called, “The Scholars” on UDC-TV, and is the host of the weekly morning radio show, “On the Margin,” which airs on WPFW-FM 89.3. 

    “I made the decision to be a writer my sophomore year [of college],” recalls Miller. “I arrived to Howard University in 1968 – the year Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, and then following that, Robert Kennedy was assassinated in June. The Vietnam War was going on – 1968 was one of the most important years in world history.”

    He says it was during this time that he was “sort of baptized in black history.”

    “I wanted to be involved in every aspect of writing about it,” says Miller about the politically-charged time, as sharply and energetically as if it were just yesterday. “It was just like now – with the Woman’s March and Black Lives Matter…”

    He remembers writing his first poems on the back of envelopes on his letters to family back in NY – his favorite topic being love.

    “I wrote many love poems,” says Miller. “I wanted to leave behind poems that were similar to Pablo Neruda’s work.”

    Eventually, his poems made it to the school newspaper, and then a DJ started to read his poems on Howard’s school radio.

    “Last year, my collective works came out,” continues Miller. “Now I can hold in my hand a body of work that represents 40 years.”

    As the first member of his family to go to college, he considers this quite the accomplishment.

    “My family is from the West Indies,” says Miller. “My father worked in the post office, my mother was a seamstress. College was a strain financially, and when I said I wanted to be a writer, it took them a while to understand.”  

    However, he has no regrets on his career choice.

    “When I look back on my writing, it took me to places that I couldn’t have gone otherwise,” says the poet, mentioning the U.S. State Department sponsored some of his trips. “I went to Iraq, Saudi Arabia, people would send me to all sorts of places.”

    Miller also spent 40 years as director of the African American Resource Center at Howard University, where he was able to give back to an institution that has given him so much.

    “I was one of the first graduates of African American Studies at Howard University,” says Miller, explaining it was one of the first schools to offer this program in history. “Howard students pushed for the African American Studies Department, and the Ford Foundation gave a large grant to set up the department, and part of it was the Resource Center.”

    Miller started out as a student at the Resource Center, and then became a director in 1974. He describes it as a place with a lot of books, and a base to document African American history.

    “I made a lot of contacts working there – there’s probably no African American writer I don’t know,” says Miller, remembering the memorable time Alex Haley, the author of “Roots” and “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” came to meet him there. “A lot of people came through that program. When you stay at a place 40 years, you are going to touch a lot of lives, and a lot of lives are going to touch you.”

    However, about two years ago, Miller says budget cuts shut down the program, and he was let go.

    “You might have three, four, or five professions in your life. I worked in a place for 40 years. That way of life is not coming back,” says Miller about the changing times. “Now, you’re most probably not going to marry your high school sweetheart. [And that] redefines what family really is.”

    Miller says one of his most challenging roles was being a father and raising two kids. And even in fatherhood, the way he used language was intentional – even in naming them.

    “I’m a baseball person, and I look at my life in terms of innings – now, I’m going through the 7th inning stretch,” explains Miller. “When you reach your 70’s, you still have your life ahead of you. Jazz musicians are still performing in their 80’s, and that should be a guide for all of us. As an artist, you are not dependent on an employer. [Your art] never stops until you die.”

    Right now, he says he’s doing better than ever, and it’s the busiest “inning” of his life.

    “Before, I was not making a living as a writer. I was never applying for grants and fellowships, but now I am free to travel and write more,” says Miller. “My career has really taken off. I finally have an assistant. She edited my collected works, which would never have happened if I was with the University. It made me very, very productive. Some people think I don’t sleep.”

    He’s also been the board chair of the Institute of Policy Studies for the past 10 years (currently the interim chair) – a progressive think tank working to build social, cultural and economic equality.

    “I chose the board – I moved our organization to a new facility. I put Danny Glover on our board, and Harry Belafonte,” says Miller, adding they discuss things from domestic workers to healthcare issues. This is the first year that I know personally well two members of Congress. Some of those people I’ve met through the Institute. People associate me with literature, but I’m also involved in politics. My day has a lot of projects – I’m doing a tour of the south right now – going to all the black schools with my friend, a filmmaker. Just came back from New Orleans, and next we are heading to Tuskegee in Alabama. There’s a lot to do – a lot of collaborations. Being a writer, you’re not just concerned about what’s going on in the U.S. but all around the world. That’s how you should live your senior years. If you stay healthy, you can make a contribution…What we need today is heroes.”

    What is the most important piece of advice about life that you would tell your younger self knowing what you know now?

    “I think what I’ve learned now are two things: We have to practice deep listening. We have to understand what [people] are afraid of, what they’re suffering from. Then the next level is compassion. Once you get past that point of compassion, then you can talk about the beloved community. There are levels. You have to prepare yourself spiritually for the steps…Every day when you wake up, fix something that’s broken. That way you know there’s going to be something different between today and yesterday. That’s how you know…You gotta make some changes, and it might be very small. Sometimes the first thing you gotta fix is your heart…When I look at my love poems, they’re always about desire and seeking. If you can in your life have one good friend, then you have done something that is very, very difficult, because you have to love that person with all their flaws. It takes a strong spiritual point of arriving, too – that level of love is what we’re really lacking in society. We are losing that with our young people – we’ve gotta bring caring and civility back. I see people yelling at each other and no deep listening.”

  • Poet Laureate of Iowa writes about our food system

    Poet Laureate of Iowa writes about our food system

    Mary Swander, Poet Laureate of Iowa
    Mary Swander, Poet Laureate of Iowa

    For the past 30 years, Mary Swander has risen at 6 every morning in her one-room farmhouse in Kalona, Iowa – a town known for being one of the largest Amish communities west of the Mississippi.

    She, herself, is not Amish, or a farmer, however – although she does raise ducks and geese and a large organic vegetable garden from which she grows her own food.

    Swander, who recently turned 66, is the Poet Laureate of Iowa, and her 40-year writing career is currently at a peak.

    The multiple award winner for the literary arts has written the memoirs, “The Desert Pilgrim,” and “Out of This World,” as well as several books of poetry, a musical, “Dear Iowa,” and the plays, “Vang,” a drama about recent immigrant farmers and “Map of My Kingdom,” which tackles the issue of farmland ownership transfer. Both plays will be presented on November 13 at the Change Food Festival, which will be held at New York University in NYC.

    There’s a reason why much of Swander’s art focuses on food systems. It was food which was the cause of her debilitating illnesses she has battled for most of her life.

    “I became very chemically sensitive, and I ended up in a special hospital in Chicago,” recalls the writer. “They tested me on foods one at a time, and it took me months to come up with 12 foods which I should not eat. I had all sorts of symptoms. The worst ones were blacking out, horrible stomach pains – a whole variety of things. From that hospital, they told me to eat only organic food. They didn’t know if it was the hormones in the food, or pesticides that I was reacting to.”

    It was after a severe sickness in 1983, at age 33, when she made her life-changing decision to move to Amish country, which is characterized by the “old-fashioned” life amidst horse and buggies and sprawling farmland.

    “I could only eat organic food, and it was really hard to find at that time, so I started going to the Amish to buy it from them,” says Swander. “I got to know the area and the people, and one day I drove by an old schoolhouse and it had a ‘for sale’ sign. I thought how great that would be for somebody, and that somebody turned out to be me.”

    After her new diet cured her, Swander became very busy teaching English for more than 35 years at eight different colleges and universities. She spent the most time teaching at Iowa State University, where she became a “distinguished professor.” Eventually, she left teaching to become executive director of AgArts – an organization she founded, which began as a small group at ISU in 2008, and grew into a national non-profit organized through collectives throughout the U.S.

    “I was appointed poet laureate in 2009, and then in 2011, two more years, and then two more years,” says the Iowa-native, about her governor-appointed position which typically lasts two years. “The idea is to promote the literary arts around the state of Iowa.”

    During her seven year tenure so far, Swander has traveled to all 99 counties of her state to host readings and workshops in nursing homes, colleges, prisons, elementary schools, book clubs, rotaries, women’s clubs.

    “Every day, I look at my calendar and look at where I’m supposed to go,” says Swander. “People contact me. I did a couple of projects for the Department of the Blind and the School for the Deaf. I’m really interested in helping people with disabilities because of my experiences.”

    Being a writer was an idea conceived in Swander’s mind as a kid, but she actually started writing at 21 and has stayed with it ever since.

    “Some days I don’t like it, because it feels like work,” she says laughing. “But I love literature, and I love to read…I have a lot of influences from Chaucer’s ‘The Canterbury Tales’ to Elizabeth Bishop – a huge range of people. I started out in poetry – in which I wrote four books, but I’ve written non-fiction, plays and journalism.”

    Swander received her M.F.A. from the University of Iowa Writers Workshop, and she also became a certified and licensed practitioner of therapeutic massage.

    “I think for any artist, the biggest challenge is carving out time to do your art, but then you have to pay the bills at the same time,” says the writer, explaining how she started a massage therapy business at one point to supplement her income. “There’s a million different ways to arrange your life to do that so you have to find the way that works for you.”
    Nothing makes her more proud however, she says, than when she has a new book come out.

    “I’m always happy to write the next book, or perform the next play, or get the next idea for the next book,” says Swander, who also likes to educate the American public simultaneously. “We’ve got a huge horrible problem going on…Corporate America is taking over organic food…Too many preservatives, dyes and chemicals. It’s just not really healthy, and it’s all subsidized by big agriculture.”

    What advice would she give her younger self?

    “I would tell my younger self to just relax more and realize you’re on a journey. You have to put effort into things, but there are forces out there bigger than you are, so you might as well go with the flow.”

  • Jazz singer, Joan Cartwright, pursues doctorate at 68

    Jazz singer, Joan Cartwright, pursues doctorate at 68

    Singer Joan Cartwright (Photo: Whitfield Moore & Son Photography)
    Singer Joan Cartwright (Photo: Whitfield Moore & Son Photography)

    Joan Cartwright has spent a good portion of her life traveling around the world singing jazz. Music had been her first love since the age of four when her mother put her in dance school, and her childhood home in Queens, NY was often filled with the sounds of jazz records being played by her father.  

    Now 68, Cartwright lives in West Palm Beach, Fla. where she remains a creative force using many different platforms – from writing books, blogs, and poetry. In March, she taught her first college course in speech communication at Southeastern University. She also heads Women in Jazz South Florida, a non-profit organization she founded to support the success of fellow women jazz musicians, and hosts a weekly radio talk show called “Music Woman.”

    “Musicians are messengers,” says Cartwright, who calls herself “a communicator” above all else. “Music is about delivering messages. So I don’t see music as necessarily art, but as communication.”

    Ever since she was in college, she was adamant about combining her love of music and communication. And now she is finishing up her doctorate in marketing at Northcentral University.

    “My passion now is to get my doctorate,” says Cartwright. “I’m working on my dissertation research right now on women in jazz, music publishing and marketing. I have to interview 20 women composers and ask them about their marketing practices.”

    She says she realized early on that musicians have very poor business skills, and she decided to pursue that topic, because she wants to help them – especially women, because the jazz music industry has long been dominated by men.

    Cartwright herself remembers returning to New York to sing after getting her master’s degree in communication from La Salle University in Philadelphia.

    “New York was a little tougher,” she says about the music industry in the early 80’s. “In Philly, there were five or seven of us jazz singers. In New York, about 30.”

    She said she would hustle during the day doing odd jobs like word processing and working as a legal secretary, and at night she would sing.

    “I used to be a street musician in Central Park for a while with my boyfriend who was a drummer,” remembers Cartwright. “Sometimes we’d make more money there than in the clubs.”

    In the 90’s, she got her first contract which allowed her to tour Europe.

    “I met a piano player who became my music arranger, and he produced my first CD in Catania, Italy, called ‘Feeling Good,’” recalls Cartwright.

    “I toured Italy for four years with him, and I sang in Spain, Austria, Germany and England, Holland, France and Switzerland. I met some wonderful musicians and got to see a lot of famous musicians.”

    When she moved to Florida in 1996, she had collected so many photographs of beautiful places and people all over the world that she decided to take them to the publisher of African American Travel magazine. She ended up writing for them for four years.

    These days, she’s excited to be back recording music with her daughter, and fellow singer, Mimi Johnson, and also plans to keep teaching business courses once she finishes her doctorate in December.

    “I keep doing what I’m doing…and then I’m going to publish “The Best Business Practices for Women Musicians,” because women have to use different strategies than men use,” says Cartwright. “One of my triumphs is that I’ve got a collection of at least six CDs of music with 63 songs from 45 women. So nobody can never say that women don’t write music.”

    And what is her one piece of life advice that she wishes she could tell her younger self now?

    “Love yourself first,” says Cartwright, adding that she is “blissfully single” after four marriages – she’s even written a poem about it. “Women tend to give away their hearts to men, and men generally take those hearts for granted.”