Wiser With Age

Tag: motivation

  • How to take control of your life


     

    When you are dealing with a challenge in your life, do you feel that you have control over the outcome, or do you believe that you are a victim of outside forces?

    If you believe that you have control over what happens, then you have what psychologists refer to as an internal locus of control. If you believe that you have no control over what happens, and that external circumstances are to blame, then you have what is known as an external locus of control.

    People with an internal locus of control:

    • Are more likely to take responsibility for their actions.
    • Tend to be less influenced by the opinions of other people.
    • They do a better job when they are  allowed to work at their own pace.
    • They usually have a strong sense of self-efficacy.
    • They work hard to achieve the things they want.
    • They feel confident in the face of challenges.
    • They tend to be physically healthier.
    • They are happier and more independent.
    • They often achieve greater success in the workplace.

    People with an external locus of control:

    • Blame outside forces for their circumstances.
    • They often credit luck or chance for any successes.
    • They don’t believe they can change their situation through their own efforts.
    • They frequently feel hopeless or powerless in the appearance of difficult situations.

    When people feel that they have no control over their situation, they begin to behave in a helpless manner.

    The Locus Control Theory says that you feel positive about yourself to the degree to which you feel you are in control of your own life, and you feel negative about yourself to the degree to which you feel that you are controlled by some external force, or influence.

    Most stress, anxiety, tension, and psychosomatic illnesses come about as the result of the person feeling out of control, or not in control, of some important part of his/her life.

    If you feel that your life is controlled by debts, or your boss, or ill health, or bad relationships, or the behavior of others, you will suffer stress. Stress will manifest as irritation, anger, and resentment. If you don’t deal with it will progress to insomnia, depression, or illness of various kinds.

    You can have either and internal or external locus of control. That is, you can feel that you are in charge of your own life, happy, positive, and confident, or you can feel controlled by others and feeling helpless, trapped, and much like a victim.

    Well how can you take control of you life?

    Taking control of your life begins with your thoughts.

    How you think about the situation determines how you feel, and your feelings determine your behavior. Self-discipline, self-mastery, self-control all begin with you taking control of your thinking.

    There are two ways you can get control of any situation:

    • You can take action, and do something to change it.
    • You can simply walk away and regain control by letting go of a person, or situation.

    It is so important for you to know exactly what you want, because the self confidence that comes from feeling in control is why a person with a clear purpose, and a plan, always edge over someone who is vague and unsure.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach, fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • The simple secret to achieving any dream, at any age


    You are never too young to have a dream or to old to have a vision.

    The first step in living your life at your full potential is to have a clear vision of who you are, and what you want.

    How do you do that?

    You must start looking at your life through eyes of confidence, trust, reliance and conviction. You must have a mental picture of yourself where you see yourself growing in your spiritual life, your health, your business, your family, and also your finances.

    Mentally, see your dreams happen. You have to visualize and conceive it in your heart, and mind, if you ever hope to experience it on the outside.

    This image has to become a part of you, deep in your subconscious mind, in your thoughts, your conversation, actions, and in every part of your being.

    Your life is not going to change until you change your thinking.

    You cannot make the changes in your life when you are set in your ways, bound by your perceptions and stuck in your thinking.

    When you look into your future, what do see?

    Do you see yourself-getting stronger, healthier, happier, and your life filled with blessings?

    What you see, is what you get.

    If you want to be successful, you must expect the best of yourself and about life in general. If you dwell in positive thoughts, your life moves in that direction.

    If you expect defeat, failure, and mediocrity, your subconscious will make sure that you get that.

    That is the reason why if you want to move in the direction of your dreams, you must increase your level of expectancy.

    When you get up in the morning say to yourself:

    “Hello beautiful! What can I do for you today? This is a great day. I am excited about today.â€

    Start your day with faith and positive expectancy, and anticipate good things happening to you. Expect that all things will work for good for you. Expect people to go out of their way to help you. Expect to be at the right place at the right time.

    You have the key to empower yourself. All you have to do is start expecting good things in your life.

    You may be asking, “Is she crazy? What if I do all that, and it does not work?”

    Well what if you do that, and it does work?

    What do you have to lose by being hopeful, confident and having a good attitude? By being your best no matter where you are at this moment in your life? By being a light in a sometimes difficult world?

    One thing I know for sure. Your life will never improve as long as you stay in a negative frame of mind. Low expectations will trap you into mediocrity.

    You must think positive thoughts, loving thoughts, constructive thoughts. Thoughts of victory, abundance, and hope.

    Keep your mind set in the right direction.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach, fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • 7 principles to building healthy relationships that last

    7 principles to building healthy relationships that last


     

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Photo/ Old People Holding Hands blog

    Are you a people builder or a people basher?

    Relationships can be extremely complicated, yet they are a part of every aspect of daily life – from leading a successful business to having an emotionally stable family. Thankfully, building and maintaining quality relationships entails only seven key principles.

    1. Trust

    All relationships are based on trust. To build trust, you must be trustworthy and remain consistent and dependable with everything you say and do.  You should be the kind of person who is absolutely reliable in every situation.

    2. Respect

    Take time to purposely express your respect for the people around you. You will find that it makes them feel valuable and important. In addition, make sure you are a careful and attentive listener. When you listen carefully, and with total attention, you demonstrate the respect you have for a person’s uniqueness. This will greatly enhance the quality of your relationship.

    3. Time

    How much time you physically spend with another person is a critical and elemental factor in communicating well with another person. The value of a relationship can increase for both you and the other person depending on the amount of time that you invest in it.

    4. Politeness

    When you say “please†and “thank you†on a regular basis to the people in your life, you make them feel better about themselves. You raise their self-esteem, make them feel honored and important, and they feel good about what they are doing.

    5. Caring

    The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. Stop criticizing, condemning or complaining to people or to others, and start thinking of yourself as a people builder rather than a people basher.

    People builders acknowledge others when they are doing something right. So, always look for ways to make people feel more valued, respected, loved and appreciated.

    7. Praise and appreciation

    Remember, the three most powerful words in any relationship are the words “I love you.â€Â Take the time to show and tell the most important people in your life that you love them, and do it in many different ways, and as often as possible. Never take for granted that you’re loved ones should “just know†you love them…tell them! Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. 

    When you express your appreciation to another person for something they do for you, they feel better about themselves, and they want to do more of it.

    7. Cooperation

    Be willing to share, contribute, and help each other while having a pleasant attitude. This is an important facet of lasting relationships.

    One of the easiest, most inexpensive ways to build empowering relationships is by always greeting people with a smile. There is a Chinese proverb that says, “A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.â€

    I say, “Smile! It increases your face value!â€

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • Surround yourself with like-minded people to become the person you strive to be


     

    Societal pressures are so strong,  it is likely that every turning point in your life is strongly influenced by other people. From the courses you take in school, the books you read, the music you listen to, and the seminars you attend, they are all almost always the result of a suggestion from someone you respect.

    Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University did a 25-year study on the characteristics of achievement motivated people. He found that, the single most important factor in success is your “reference group.†Your reference group is made up of the people with whom you habitually associate and identify. These are the people with whom you live, work, and interact with on a daily basis.

    Your reference group has a powerful effect on the person you are today, and on the person you will become tomorrow. The friends with whom you socialize with have an enormous impact on everything you do and accomplish.

    Every major turning point in your life will coincide with the development of a new group of friends and associates. The significance of that is when you change the people you associate with, it often leads to a complete change of aspirations, goals, work routines, and levels of achievement.

    Many successful people are very conscious about their choice of friends, associates and colleagues. They surround themselves with the people that will take them from where they are to where they want to be.

    Studies indicate that the top 20 percent of high achievers strongly identified with other high achievers, even before they had had a chance to accomplish very much in life. Their role models were men and women at the top of their organizations. High achievers did not identify with the average people around them. Their sights were set much higher. And in almost no time at all, they were up among the top 20 percent, exactly as they had planned.

    There are several things that you can do to make the changes in life you desire:

    1. Associate with the right people, ask for their advice, and follow it.

    2. Make every effort to overcome the obstacles within yourself that might be holding you back.

    3. To make meaningful and lasting change, you must set clear priorities. Focus on what is valuable, and relevant, rather than waste your time on what is small and insignificant.

    4. Have a “sense of urgency,†a desire and a drive to make the change.

    5. Start at work. Deliberately and systematically make efforts to meet people who you know can help you. Engage in the same behaviors that created their achievement. Remember you achieve a particular quality by constantly acting in a particular way.

    6. Develop the essential skills that you need.

    The wonderful thing about the change process is that it is totally under your control. It depends on no one else, and it is an ongoing journey. In other words, you are a continual “do-it yourself” project.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€

  • The importance of mental training for becoming a champion in life


     

    Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest professional boxers in the sport’s history once said, “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.â€

    Mental training is the key for success in life. You have to be mentally tough to be a champion in your personal life. You need the mental attitude saying, “I want to.â€

    To be mentally tough involves specific proven techniques such as, setting goals, believing in yourself, improving your concentration, using imagery, overcoming obstacles and conquering anxiety.

    Each one of these techniques is strongly based on science. If you incorporate all of them into your life, you will empower yourself beyond your wildest dreams.

    The most powerful tool you have is your mind. When your mind is undisciplined, it can be very damaging to you, but when you discipline your mind, it can develop unlimited power.

    The book of James in the Bible, Chapter 1 says, “a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.†Too often we are crippled by analysis paralysis. We need to move away from the analytical side of our brain and learn how to use our mind in ways that will allow us to reach our full potential.

    Here are some tools to enhance your personal performance:

     1. Posture. Your posture  is a direct link to the brain, and it can dramatically influence your self-esteem and your performance. How you stand, and how you present yourself, can instantly transform your self confidence and how others respond to you.

     2. Power talk. Research shows that positive self talk can make you more confident and focused.

    3. Visualization. Use all your senses to create vivid images that can prepare you to train and perform at your highest level. Use the “flash back” technique to recreate vivid pictures of past success. Embrace those feelings of accomplishments – the sights, sounds, emotions, and thoughts, and allow them to prepare you for future achievements.

    4. Action. If you are serious about improving your life you need to do more than hope or wish. The difference between your dreams remaining a fantasy, or becoming real, is your resiliency, your consistency, perseverance, and your commitment to action. That internal energy creates the enthusiasm that keeps you working toward your personal goals.

    5. Make goals. To remain positive, and confident, think about your goals all the time. You won’t give up when things don’t go right the first time; you will go back and do it again. If you can’t go through the obstacles ahead, you will go around them. If you can’t go around them, you will go over them, and if you can’t go over them, you will go under them.

    6. Be creative and experiment. Rather than thinking about quitting, say to yourself, “I don’t like the results I am getting, so what do I need to do differently?†Remember that we reap what we sow. If you don’t like what you are reaping, it is time to sow something new.

    7. Realize your limitations are only temporary. Often our limitations are self-imposed. If you find yourself trapped, or stuck, your best ally is your passion, your determination, your attitude, and self motivation that will separate you from the rest.

    Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, “What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight — it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

    Once you stretch your mind with a new idea, it can never go back to its original dimension.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Dr. Josefina Monasterio is a certified life coach,  fitness expert, and nutritional counselor based in Vero Beach, Florida. She holds a PhD in Adult Personal Development from Nova University and a Master’s Degree in Education from Boston University. Dr. Josefina is also a certified Yoga Therapist from the World Yoga Society of Calcutta, India, and host of Healthy Power TV’s “The Dr. Josefina Way.â€