Wiser With Age

Tag: memories

  • Filmmaker reflects on grandmother in film, “306 Hollywood”

    Filmmaker reflects on grandmother in film, “306 Hollywood”


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    The late Annette Ontell, owner of 306 Hollywood, Hillside, NJ.

    Jonathan Bogarín, 40, and his sister Elan Bogarín, 36, loved their grandmother so much, they immortalized her on film.

    The Jewish-American matriarch, Annette Ontell, passed away on April 4, 2011 at age 93 – leaving behind only memories, and artifacts, in her house at 306 Hollywood Ave. in Hillside, NJ, which she lived in for 70 years.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    The house was stark white – as if predestined to become the perfect canvas for the film that would be created after her death – using the artifacts from her life as props. She was a middle class fashion designer, with a sense of humor, who loved to make dresses fit for the Rockefellers, and she’d always make a duplicate for herself to wear.

    The brother and sister filmmaking duo named their award-winning film “306 Hollywood,†and its artistically mastered ethereal style, for such a weighty subject matter, landed it in Sundance Film Festival earlier this year. After successful showings in NYC, and Los Angeles, it will be screening next in theaters in Dallas, Portland and Seattle, and on Amazon next year.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi_b_VdwazU

    “Making the film, made it easier to let the house go – the memories that we hold, and the cultural space that it holds. I can walk in and be in a 1970’s Jewish-American family,†says Jonathan.

    The idea for the film gradually developed. Elan and Jonathan started filming their grandmother 10 years before her death.

    “My sister was in film school when we started filming. Since we went to [our grandmother’s] house every single week, this added to the relationship,†says Jonathan.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Filmmakers, and grandchildren of Annette Ontell, Elan Bogarín and Jonathan Bogarín

    Elan would ask her straight forward questions you might not normally ask someone if you weren’t filming like, “Grandma are you vain?,†“Do you miss sex?,†and “Are you scared of dying?â€

    She’d always respond honestly and with her extraordinary wit.

    Here, Jonathan answers a few questions about the influence his grandmother had on his life:

    What is your most vivid memory of your grandmother since you were a little boy?

    It was more a feeling than a specific memory. She was a person who always made you feel better. She was a consistently supportive person who was always concerned for our well-being – the things she would do like make you food and made sure you ate enough.

    And your most vivid memory as an adult?

    It’s more of a lesson than a memory. It was her philosophy on how to live life. Despite the tragedies in her life, she’d always empathize with others. She taught us how to handle what life throws at you, and be kind and loving to others, and to find humor in situations. She did it all the time.

    What is the most important piece of life advice that she might have told you, or taught you, by the way she lived?

    Now I have a daughter who is 4 and a half years old. And it’s important to me to transmit the secular Jewish culture to her from my grandmother, and also the Latino culture that comes from my father. She set such an amazing example of how to keep the family together – worry about the things that are important, and not the things that are not as important.

  • Random moments remind me of lessons my father taught me

    Random moments remind me of lessons my father taught me


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Nayeli Chavez-Geller with her father, Raymundo Chavez.

    I often think about my father.

    I find myself engaged in the most mundane of my daily activities, and I randomly remember some of our conversations. I treasure them like old video cassettes – worried at times that they will fade off if I think about them too much.

    My parents got divorced when I was five years old, and I am the eldest of four siblings. My mother, who is from New York, met my father in Oaxaca, Mexico and returned back home after their separation – giving him sole custody over us. I don’t remember much about the days living with both of my parents. It’s as if life started one day when I was at elementary school and all my friends pointed out to me, “Nayeli, your father is outside the school waiting for you.”

    Looking back, I guess we were the topic of conversation in other households – the four “gueritos” (a Mexican slang term meaning “light-skinned people”) that just by their physical appearance stood out like a needle in a haystack and were being raised by their father in a time where every kid in my classroom lived with both of their parents, and in the rarest scenario with their mother.

    My father was very devoted, but an authoritarian figure who was very strict with us. He believed in what he called “an integral education.” We had to excel both academically, and in sports. He also believed it was very important to have social skills. I remember one day he hit me with a belt for something that was not my fault. At night, when I went to kiss him before bed, he actually apologized. I seized that unusual moment of understanding and asked him why he was always so harsh with us? He told me it was because he knew that as good as we seemed, we hadn’t reached our potential, and that as a father, it would be a crime not to ask for more if he truly knew we had the capacity for it.

    I have been living on my own since I was 17, and I always remember that moment. I guess it’s a motor of motivation when things get too comfortable or tough.

    My father was born in a village that he’d take us to often, while we were growing up, to visit my grandmother. Once there was a bull running loose on the streets, and my first instinct was to run away from it, but my father got really mad, and he told me, “How can you turn your back on it, Nayeli? In life, you must face the bull in order to see which way to run.”

    I learned later that there is even a known phrase, “Grab the bull by the horns,” and hearing that for the first time reminded me of that moment.

    When I feel depressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, I force myself to go out for a run. I then start hearing his voice again,”Happiness isn’t permanent, you have to fight for it. This is your life, you can make the best of it, or be a victim. There aren’t any guarantees. Be the best that you can be. Remember time goes by, don’t waste your youth. You are free. I gave you wings to fly, and the skills to survive no matter what. Go out in the world, and be happy.”

    Nayeli Chavez-Geller is a reporter and correspondent for Univision television network, and she resides in New York City.

  • In my Mother’s Words: 6 greatest moments in 61 years

    In my Mother’s Words: 6 greatest moments in 61 years


    My mom celebrated her 61st birthday on Tuesday. Thankfully, she’s still hanging out with me in NYC until I get my apartment and am all settled. I decided to ask her what her top six moments of the last 61 years have been. Here you go (in chronological order and not necessarily order of importance):

    1. Her wedding day – My mother has always said her wedding day really was one of the best memories of her life. She remembers being full of hopes, dreams and excitement.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    2. The day she gave birth to each of us – My mom loves us limitlessly. She says despite the painful experience of child birth, and how hard it is to raise kids, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell ya, we aren’t easy cookies so there’s a lot of love and patience there.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    3. The day my brother and I each graduated college – For my mother this was her American dream. All she wanted was to raise two professionals. We did it!
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    4. Visiting the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes in Lourdes, France - My mom is a very devout Catholic and says ever since she was a little girl she dreamt of traveling to Lourdes but never thought it’d be possible. Thankfully, she checked it off her bucket list. (photo credit: Mom)
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    5. Seeing my grandmother turn 91 – My grandmother is not only 91 but is as healthy as a horse. She’s a little frail like most of us would be, but has a sharp tongue paired with sharp wit. She went to the doctor a few weeks ago and tried hitting on the man! Here she is surrounded by mariachis on her 91st in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    6. Vacationing in Argentina with my brother and I- This was probably the most surprising one for me. She told me that for her “eso fue lo máximoâ€Â (it was awesome). When I asked her why, she said she never imagined us being all together on vacation somewhere like Argentina. When we were younger we didn’t go on vacation and any trips were to Honduras to see family. It was a fun treat to be all together…sipping on wine…lots of wine.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    From listening to her I was reminded of the importance of gratitude. She’s so thankful for all of these experiences. She’s humbled by so many of them and realizes how fortunate we are. She doesn’t feel entitled or like these are experiences she’s earned. She’s just grateful.

    The crazy thing is five out of her six best moments have happened in the last 31 years. As usual, she reminds me it’s never too late.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in New York City. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€