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  • Grateful for my mom, my inspiration

    Grateful for my mom, my inspiration

    Ida Echevarria at 89

    Meet the new exercise instructor, Ida Echevarria. Yes, at 89 my mom now leads a morning exercise class at her assisted living center. This is amazing because of her age for sure. However, what is even more amazing is where my mom came from. She inspires me, because she is a miracle. We have a motto in our family, “Miracles happen when God sees you working on a miracle.”

    Six years ago, Halloween night, she suffered a brain stroke and a spinal stroke. She felt a terrible pain in her back. My husband and I ran over when my dad called (we live five minutes away). We called the ambulance, and as she walked down the stairs, she lost use of her legs, and in seconds, she was blank – her mind was gone. She was airlifted to the hospital. We were told for the first time it is doubtful she will survive, and if she did, she would be almost in a coma state. So many times, we were told that or something similar. “She will never walk,” “never read,” “never do her word puzzles,” but they don’t know my mom. It took her four years to get her mind back and five to gain use of her legs. It was a combination of sheer determination on her part. She put on an attitude of joy, and despite what she was being told, she believed the opposite: “I will walk, read, think again.”

    My mom has been a superwoman my whole life. She was a teacher, an educational administrator, a marathon runner, a swimmer, a single mom, an aerobics participant, and now, an exercise instructor at 89.

    Right now, she is writing lessons plans for her class. Thinking of stories to entertain the residents throughout the class. She asked me to order her books on exercises for seniors. She uses weights, bands, and laughter.

    She is so happy. That is her secret sauce: be happy. My mom is optimistic, hopeful, and takes whatever state she is in and makes it better for herself and all.  I’ve seen her angry, I’ve seen her really serious so many times growing up, she was always fighting for us, and at the same time gave us experiences that made us laugh, learn and love life. She never gave up on herself, ever. She took classes on personal development, spiritual development, and positive mindset. When she retired at 55, she embraced a new a part of herself, her funny self. She wanted to laugh, have fun, and be happy. She won “Comedian of the Year” from her women’s golf group. She is always smiling and being fun loving. She continues that today at 89.

    I am so grateful for my mom, my role model, my best friend, and her smiling face. She inspires me, motivates me and enriches my life daily.

    Ida’s daughter, keynote speaker, coach and author, Pegine, is also a happy optimistic person like her mom. Pegine’s leadership and business blog was named 1 of the top 20 Women in Leadership Blogs in the World. She is also an award-winning author. Her book, “Sometimes You Have to Kick Your Own Butt,” was named the top 10 books for women, four years in a row, by Society of Human Resource Management. www.Pegine.com

  • Grandma Lan’s Vietnamese Thanksgiving Quail

    Grandma Lan’s Vietnamese Thanksgiving Quail

    Last year, in a special Thanksgiving collaboration with I Am An Immigrant, Cooking with Granny traveled to California to tell the refugee immigrant story behind Grandma Lan’s crispy Vietnamese quail. It’s baked, fried, and flambeed — and served with a side of her famous fish sauce. Under Communist rule in Vietnam, Grandma Lan thrived as an underground fish sauce dealer in the black market so much so that she came to be known as “Madam Fish Sauce.”

    Watch Grandma Lan’s food story here.

    What Thanksgiving traditions does your family savor?

  • Filmmaker reflects on grandmother in film, “306 Hollywood”

    Filmmaker reflects on grandmother in film, “306 Hollywood”

    The late Annette Ontell, owner of 306 Hollywood, Hillside, NJ.

    Jonathan Bogarín, 40, and his sister Elan Bogarín, 36, loved their grandmother so much, they immortalized her on film.

    The Jewish-American matriarch, Annette Ontell, passed away on April 4, 2011 at age 93 – leaving behind only memories, and artifacts, in her house at 306 Hollywood Ave. in Hillside, NJ, which she lived in for 70 years.

    The house was stark white – as if predestined to become the perfect canvas for the film that would be created after her death – using the artifacts from her life as props. She was a middle class fashion designer, with a sense of humor, who loved to make dresses fit for the Rockefellers, and she’d always make a duplicate for herself to wear.

    The brother and sister filmmaking duo named their award-winning film “306 Hollywood,” and its artistically mastered ethereal style, for such a weighty subject matter, landed it in Sundance Film Festival earlier this year. After successful showings in NYC, and Los Angeles, it will be screening next in theaters in Dallas, Portland and Seattle, and on Amazon next year.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi_b_VdwazU

    “Making the film, made it easier to let the house go – the memories that we hold, and the cultural space that it holds. I can walk in and be in a 1970’s Jewish-American family,” says Jonathan.

    The idea for the film gradually developed. Elan and Jonathan started filming their grandmother 10 years before her death.

    “My sister was in film school when we started filming. Since we went to [our grandmother’s] house every single week, this added to the relationship,” says Jonathan.

    Filmmakers, and grandchildren of Annette Ontell, Elan Bogarín and Jonathan Bogarín

    Elan would ask her straight forward questions you might not normally ask someone if you weren’t filming like, “Grandma are you vain?,” “Do you miss sex?,” and “Are you scared of dying?”

    She’d always respond honestly and with her extraordinary wit.

    Here, Jonathan answers a few questions about the influence his grandmother had on his life:

    What is your most vivid memory of your grandmother since you were a little boy?

    It was more a feeling than a specific memory. She was a person who always made you feel better. She was a consistently supportive person who was always concerned for our well-being – the things she would do like make you food and made sure you ate enough.

    And your most vivid memory as an adult?

    It’s more of a lesson than a memory. It was her philosophy on how to live life. Despite the tragedies in her life, she’d always empathize with others. She taught us how to handle what life throws at you, and be kind and loving to others, and to find humor in situations. She did it all the time.

    What is the most important piece of life advice that she might have told you, or taught you, by the way she lived?

    Now I have a daughter who is 4 and a half years old. And it’s important to me to transmit the secular Jewish culture to her from my grandmother, and also the Latino culture that comes from my father. She set such an amazing example of how to keep the family together – worry about the things that are important, and not the things that are not as important.

  • For a former attorney, now young adult author, representation is key

    For a former attorney, now young adult author, representation is key

     

    Author Francisco Stork (Courtesy Francisco Stork)

    Francisco Stork’s youth was so compelling that it makes for a great novel.

    He was born in Monterrey, Mexico in 1953 to a single mother from a middle class family in Tampico (a city on the Gulf of Mexico). She was sent to live in a convent in Monterrey, because her father did not want anyone to know that she was going to have a child out of wedlock.

    Six years later, his mother married a retired man more twenty years her senior, named Charles Stork, and he adopted Francisco and gave him his last name. After some time, Charles decided to bring the family to the United States for more opportunities. The three of them moved to El Paso, Texas when Francisco was nine. When Francisco was 13, Charles died in an automobile accident, and Francisco and his mom moved to the public housing projects of El Paso. Because of Francisco’s phenomenal grades, he was able to obtain scholarships to attend prestigious schools such as, Harvard and later Columbia Law School, which would change the direction of his life.

    It was not until his late 40’s, while working full-time as an attorney, that Stork wrote his first fiction novel for adults. By the time he was working on his second book, his two children were teenagers, so he started reaching back into the riveting memories of his youth and wrote them down. Today, he’s a young adult fiction author of seven novels. His last book, “Disappeared,” hit shelves this fall.

    “I like writing about young people,” says the author, now 64, who lives in a town outside Wellesley, Mass. There are a lot of important decisions that are made at that age.”

    For his first young adult book, “Behind the Eyes” (2006), he wanted to share his experiences growing up in El Paso and living in the projects.

    “My kids had a very comfortable life,” says Stork. “I told the story of a young man in El Paso who gets in trouble with gangs. He was smart just like I was but was afraid to show he was smart.”

    This plot parallels his own life.

    “When I was a little boy, I wanted to be a writer, because I loved to read,” says Stork. “In high school, I started keeping a journal. I started enjoying being alone and writing things.”

    He says writing about personal situations became a habit for him that continued with him through graduate school and has lasted his entire life.

    “I was always guided by things to help me become a writer,” says Stork, adding that writing also provided a sense of self-acceptance for him. “You feel like your self-worth is validated.”

    Although, Stork’s first love and passion has always been writing, when he was studying Latin American literature at Harvard, he later decided to pursue a career in real estate law.

    “I didn’t see any relevance to some of the topics I was asked to write about it,” says Stork about his time at Harvard. “I thought maybe if I did something more practical to make a living, I could write on the side.”

    However, little did he know how time consuming the law profession would be. It was 25 years later that he was finally able to write.

    “Eventually, I found my way to the public sector, and the last 15 years I worked in affordable housing,” says Stork. “It was a job that was 9 to 5, and I had some time to write. It was challenging, but it was doing that job that I was able to write most of my books – almost all, except the last, were written when I was a lawyer.”

    He say a lot of the stories were in him for a long time like little seeds, and then somehow they eventually blossomed.

    “Usually the character comes first, and then I imagine a person growing inside of me,” explains Stork.

    In his book, “The Memory of Light” (2016), he wrote about a teenage girl recovering from depression after a suicide attempt. This is also a topic close to the author’s heart.

    “Depression started when I was a teenager, and it continued through my life,” says Stork. “Ten years ago, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder…In this book, I wanted to focus on the recovery aspect – that hasn’t been covered too much – the day to day to getting better. I poured into that book all of my experiences – it took me four years. It had to be hopeful so that if it fell into the hands of a young person with depression, it would turn them in the right direction.”

    What helped him recover?

    “I had my family, my wife and my kids – I really didn’t have an option to be out of commission – they depended on me,” says Stork. “A lot of what helped me was trying to understand that it was an illness. When you have thoughts of not being worthy – [I now understand] that’s from the illness.”

    For Stork, representation is also very important.

    “All my characters are Mexican-American – first or second generation,” he says. “Some are poor, some are smart, some have struggles – it’s really all over the spectrum. Hopefully I’m showing that these are human beings that happen to be Mexican – the race is not the focus, but an integral part…My hope is that the book becomes a space where young people see themselves reflected.”

    His latest novel, “Disappeared,” came right after the one about the girl with depression. The idea for it came during the 2016 U.S. Presidential campaign.

    “There were stories of Mexicans raping and killing young women, and I was sort of amazed at the number of people who kind of rallied behind this opposition to the undocumented immigrant, and the picture that was being painted of Mexicans,” says Stork. “I felt angry and wanted to do something with that anger… I wanted to show how complex the Mexican society was.”

    So Stork decided to write about a fictional brother and sister in Juarez, and the factual topic of femicide happening all over Mexico and Latin America –thousands of women and girls have gone missing, or been killed, for more than two decades.

    “As a writer, the most important thing is that you enable the reader to go into the world of the novel and become a part of it,” says Stork. “What would be great is that if the novel brings a greater understanding of the people that are sometimes hated. We don’t understand the world they come from. We don’t realize how technologically advanced Mexico is, for example…The disrespect of women that led to all these killings of women – these feelings are also in the U.S. – which we are seeing now.”

    He’s already thinking that his next book is going to talk about the same brother and sister, and their life now in the U.S.

    What would be the most important piece of life advice he’d like to give his younger self?

    “I would tell my younger self to concentrate on the enjoyment of the work itself. Don’t worry about the rewards – which may come or not come – just do your best. Do something that you enjoy, and something that is useful for others. Whatever happens after that is up to God and is in His hands…”

  • Author Bob Brody: A note of thanks, on my dad’s behalf

    Author Bob Brody: A note of thanks, on my dad’s behalf

     

    Bob Brody’s father, Lee Brody, as a boy. (Courtesy Bob Brody)

    Ask me for my favorite Thanksgiving story and here’s what I’ll now have to tell you.

    In 1930, a certain 4-year-old in Newark had yet to speak a single word. So his mother took her first-born son to see a series of physicians for a diagnosis.

    It turned out that my future father had been born almost completely deaf.

    Two of those doctors recommended sending Lee Brody to a private school, the Central Institute for the Deaf (CID), a kind of Harvard for deaf children, more than 800 miles away in St. Louis, Mo.

    My grandparents, despite such heavy expense during the depths of the Great Depression — my Poppa ran a saloon — took that advice.

    My father arrived at CID in 1931 and graduated in 1941. There, he learned to speak, to listen, to read lips and to function as well as any hearing person. That much I knew.

    But then, two years ago, some old letters arrived in my sister’s mailbox, and from an unlikely source: the woman my father had lived with after he divorced my mother. We’d had no contact with her in the 18 years since my father died in 1997. Our family had long presumed such letters to be either non-existent or long lost.

    One of the letters revealed a reality about my father that I neither knew nor ever had cause to suspect. In 1936, with my father now 10 years old and already five years into his stay at CID, my Poppa ran out of money to foot the bill. My father was pulled out of his classes to return to Newark and enroll in a public school.

    My Nana then evidently wrote a letter to Dr. Max Goldstein, the prominent ear, nose and throat physician who had founded CID in 1914 and served as its executive director. She informed him that her son was performing poorly in the new school and pleaded for the institute to accept him back.

    In response, Dr. Goldstein wrote, “I can readily appreciate your own disappointment in his limited progress (in Newark) . . . and your satisfaction with Irwin’s progress while with us.” She had “made a very frank statement of your family’s financial affairs.”

    Dr. Goldstein then agreed to lower the annual tuition fee for my father to $900.

    “I hope this concession in the tuition fee will make it possible for you and Mr. Brody to have Irwin return to CID next September,” he wrote, “for I know it will be for the child’s good and will contribute much to your happiness.”

    As a result, my father returned to CID the following semester and stayed there for five more years. He would graduate from Weequahic High School in Newark, and then from Rutgers, among the few deaf students ever to do so.

    Much later, my father — now age 42, with a wife, two children and a full-time job managing real estate — founded a nonprofit organization, New York-New Jersey Phone-TTY, headquartered in Hackensack. Partnering with IBM and AT&T, among others, he was instrumental in establishing a network of specially adapted teletypewriters, or TTYs, from coast to coast.

    As a result, millions of people with hearing impairments could, in written messages transmitted instantaneously, “speak” with each other as never before. The TTYs also connected the deaf and hard-of-hearing for the first time to police stations, firehouses, hospitals, airports and government.

    Later, my father received a personal letter of appreciation from then-President Ronald Reagan. Bell Telephone’s Pioneers Club inducted him as only its 29th member since 1911. The Stevens Institute of Technology held a memorial service in his honor that drew 500 mourners. Gallaudet University, the world’s only higher education institution for the hearing-impaired, named a scholarship after him.

    My father confided to me more than once throughout my boyhood that without his education at CID, he might never have accomplished much of anything. And he often expressed his gratitude, justifiably so, to his parents for funding it all at considerable sacrifice. No doubt he learned only later about the letter his mother sent to CID arguing her case for his return.

    And so a certain question now haunts me. What would have happened to him without Dr. Goldstein’s altruism? We’ll never know. So, in keeping with the spirit of Thanksgiving, Dr. Goldstein, I thank you. As a pioneer in education, you made possible a pioneer in communications. I thank you for seeing the future in my father.

    This article was originally published on NYDailyNews.com. Bob Brody is the author of the new memoir, “Playing Catch with Strangers: A Family Guy (Reluctantly) Comes of Age,” and you can read more about him here