Category: Stories

The King of Latin Soul, Joe Bataan, on what matters in life

(Courtesy Joe Bataan)

Born Bataan Nitollano to an African American mother and Filipino father, Joe Bataan grew up in Manhattan’s East Harlem in the 1950’s and 60’s – otherwise known as “Spanish Harlem,” or “El Barrio.”

During that time, “El Barrio,” was a mainly Puerto Rican neighborhood where many Latin sounds started to boom. Bataan, who ultimately became a leading figure in Latin soul music, as a self-taught pianist and vocalist, was specifically influenced by Latin boogaloo and African American doo-wop. Fania Records spotted his talent, and signed him in 1966 – through which Bataan released his famous “Gypsy Woman” in 1967. He was also a main subject of the 2014 documentary on Latin boogaloo in New York City, “We Like It Like That.”

“My first ambition was to become an athlete,” recalls Bataan, now 73. “I wanted to follow in the steps of Jackie Robinson. That didn’t realize, so at around 9, I decided I wanted to become a singer. I used to buy hit parade books and imitate the artists every Saturday morning – from Frank Sinatra to Tito Rodriguez.”

Watching movies, he says, were also an inspiration to him.

“It was like a romantic period – what you couldn’t see, you could sing about,” says Bataan. “Music gave you a good feeling and gave you a different outlook on the world. It was like an injection of happiness. It was motivating. That’s when my dream started.”

However, his dream took a little detour. At 15, Bataan found himself as the leader of a gang called the Dragons and with a pregnant 13-year-old girlfriend. He was also sent to a correctional facility for stealing a car. It wasn’t until he was freed five years later, that he was able to resume his dream of becoming a musician.

“I started a band and learned the piano,” says Bataan. “It took me like six months to put that band together [Joe Bataan and the Latin Swingers]…I found a group of young kids, around eight musicians that stuck with me – ages 11, 12 and 13 – I was 19. I taught myself the piano, and then I helped teach them. It was all trial and error.”

He says it took a lot of hustling to become successful.

“You just don’t pick up and say, ‘I’m a star,’ says Bataan. “You had to find out what was available, seek out executives to listen to you, and get a following from the public. I started out with a dream, and then I was able to fulfill it little by little. No one ever gave us anything. We had to go out and get it.”

After a breakup with Fania, Bataan founded Salsoul Records in 1973. “Salsoul” was the term he gave the sound which blended salsa and soul. In the late 70’s, he ended up recording a rap hit under that label called, “Rap-O Clap-O.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcA4-HinQpQ

In the 1980’s, Bataan’s music career plummeted due to a gambling habit, and he took another detour back to Bridges Juvenile Center in the Bronx. However, this time it was for 25 years, but not behind bars.

“At 40, I found a job as a youth counselor exactly where I had been locked up [years ago],” says Bataan, who by then was raising a family. “I needed a job to pay my rent, but it turned my life around. I got to mentor troubled kids, just as I had wished someone had done for me. It makes me feel good that I had a meaningful part of my life besides music.”

He says he used techniques inspired by karate to create the discipline the 10- to 17-year-olds so craved and needed.

“Their role models were silly,” says Bataan. “They believed in somebody who had gold chains. A lot of them didn’t have parents, and they’d been on their own from a very young age. They needed motivation to change their life. If they don’t hear this from somebody, they’re lost.”

Now that he’s retired from the juvenile center, he says that he is currently writing a book called, “Streetology.” It gives youth tips on how to survive in life, including how to speak on a job interview, and how to be respected.

“Playing music for people is my pastime, but I also like to think I’m bringing a message,” says Bataan. “God has come into my life…He’s what allowed me to be here today. My faith in God has protected me all of my life.”

Bataan explains that he grew up in Catholic school, but he wasn’t ready for God as a young boy. It wasn’t until he was in his late 50’s that he had his encounter with who he calls “The Big Boss.”

“I went to see ‘Star Wars’ one day after work,” he recalls clearly. “I was borderline diabetic, eating all this popcorn at the movie. I came out, and I started to bleed out of my mouth. I started to lose consciousness, and I went into a coma. When I was in a coma, I felt God say, ‘Joe, why do you keep running away from me? I’m going to give you one more chance.’ I know he brought me back to life. The doctor had told my wife I wasn’t going to make it.”

Coincidentally, he always sang his song, “The Prayer,” to himself for many years before that incident, but it took him 30 years to finally sing it in public.

“I wasn’t ashamed anymore,” says Bataan about now one of his most popular songs. “I’m not just chasing women anymore – or a new house, or a new car. Joe Bataan is never going to be rich. God has me on a mission now. Everyday I wake up, and I thank God for another day.”

And each day is busy. He enjoys taking care of his grandchildren daily, and he’s also back in the music business and very active touring.

“Every month I’m performing somewhere around the world,” says Bataan who will be in Philadelphia on March 25 and on April 9 at Brooklyn Center for the Performing Arts in New York.

He leaves us with this advice for life he wishes he had when he was younger:

“Don’t get involved in something unless you have a passion for it. Never give up, and never accept the word ‘no.’ If you’re weak with your drive, you should pick another profession. You might not become wealthy, but that’s not the only thing that matters in life – it’s living, teaching and sharing…You also have to believe in something – a higher being to guide you in life. You must take care of your body to enable to do what you need to do in life, and knowledge – it’s criminal to let a day go by without learning something new. Spirit, health and knowledge.”

March 24, 2016
The secret to romantic relationships from an 81-year-old expert

Dr. Pat Allen

Dr. Pat Allen has figured out the secret formula to romantic relationships, but it took the end of her rocky first marriage, lots of education, and a few other relationships to find it. Now that she has, she has been happily devoting her life to helping others lead successful relationships for the past four decades.

At 81, Allen is a licensed marriage, family and child therapist with an office in Newport Beach, California. She has authored several books, gives seminars and classes, one-on-one sessions, and hosts an online radio show every Friday night called, “Empowered Conversation.”

Basically, she says, it all comes down to women being able to be happy alone, and being willing to share their happiness, while a man needs to feel respected. The more he feels respected, the more he wants to cherish his woman – and thus, the woman feels loved. See here:

The spunky red head was born to an Irish Catholic family in Chicago but moved to California in 1965, with her four children, when her husband was relocated for work. It was around this time, however, when she started drinking. And it was when she found herself in the hospital after attempting to hurt her husband, that she knew she hit bottom and needed to change her life.

“I said a prayer that if I could have a moment of sanity, I would serve mankind for the rest of my life – that was in 1968, and I’ve been doing it ever since,” says Allen, now sober for 44 years.

Her first husband left her and married someone else, but she bounced back and decided to pursue a masters in counseling, instead of art as she originally planned. Today, she’s busier than ever.

“Tuesdays and Wednesdays I work down in Orange County – I work for another non-profit for addicts,” says Dr. Allen. “I also go to art class on Tuesdays, because I’m still an artist and musician. I play the piano. I know how to balance my life between working and playing.”

She says the biggest challenge of her job is to not get emotionally involved with the cases of her clients.

“I’m a cognitive behavioral therapist who helps communicate what you want and what you don’t want. I keep my ego out of the way,” says Allen. “God tends to work through imperfect people. I believe I’m on this planet to serve other human beings, and in doing so, I benefit.”

Through her life and work experience, she says she’s realized the only way you know you love yourself, or anyone else, is through the commitments you’re willing to make and keep.

“I help people make and keep agreements,” says Allen. “I help them to negotiate.”

Her last husband of 18 years died in 2003, but she says she now has a new boyfriend.

Allen’s advice to the single ladies is to go where you laugh.

“Men see us not for our physical beauty, but our ability to be happy,” says Allen.

What advice would she give her younger self with the wisdom she has now?

“I now know the secret to life,” she says. “Someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. If you don’t have a human, get a dog.”

February 14, 2016
Jay Z’s 6th grade teacher continues to share real-life lessons

Author and educator Renee Lowden (Courtesy Renee Lowden)

Renee Lowden grew up in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn and graduated from James Madison High School. She calls it “quite an experience” to have gone to the same high-achieving school as characters like Bernie Sanders, Carole King, and Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

However, no matter her educational attainment at the time, she says women didn’t have many career choices in the 1960’s.

“It was either a teacher, a nurse, or a secretary, or get married,” says Lowden, who ended up going to Long Island University for education and teaching for 30 years. “I told my dad, ‘I could’ve been a doctor!’ My dad replied, ‘but you love teaching!’”

And that is the absolute truth. Lowden loved teaching so much, that after she officially retired in 1997, Lowden wrote a book called, “You Have to Go to School, You’re the Teacher: 300 Classroom Strategies to Make Your Classroom Easier and More Fun!” – now in its third edition. She says the title came from her father, because it was something he used to tell her jokingly. When her publisher wanted her to change the title, Lowden refused and says she’s glad she did because that’s how she started getting invitations to schools around the country to speak and motivate teachers to not quit the often difficult profession.

“I began teaching when I was 21 in the Bed-Stuy area of Brooklyn – where Jay Z is from, and I chose to stay there,” says Lowden. “People asked me why do you stay there? And my answer was, ‘How could I not?’ When those kids like you, they love you.”

She says she was Jay Z’s sixth grade teacher, and that he was super bright.

“He never smiled, but when he did, he’d light up the room for me,” recalls Lowden vividly. “He was reading at the 12th grade level, and he was very needy, because his father had just left. He was a sweet, quiet kid. He was always standing near me. He was just so sweet and loved words…He told me he used to read the dictionary.”

The light-hearted Lowden, who describes herself as “a hippie” at that time, says she taught in Bed-Stuy about 15 years, and later then went to teach at another school in the projects of Chelsea, Manhattan.

“The biggest challenge there was sadly to say a lot of poverty,” says Lowden. “Kids didn’t have glasses. I would buy them glasses sometimes, and they craved attention. Years ago, parents would say if you have problem [with their child], ‘I’ll take care of it.’ Now, they blame the teachers. Now you don’t have the freedom to teach the way you wanted. I was lucky I had freedom, I taught a course in prejudice awareness and sex education – I don’t think I could now.”

Lowden believes she’s learned more from her students than vice versa. One example was when a girl with cerebral palsy came into her classroom to talk to the class. She told them, “I rather you make fun of me than ignore me.”

“She made everyone aware,” says Lowden, and then the next day, the same girl said everyone was saying hello to her.

Lowden, who now lives in Maryland with her husband of 48 years, says she tried to always use these real-life lessons when she taught her students.

“One girl told me, ‘I hate you because you raised my consciousness. Now, I have to fight the world,” says Lowden in her spunky manner, adding how she herself had awakened to injustice when she realized while in college that women needed higher averages than men to graduate. “When you become aware, you start fighting, and that I did.”

As far as what advice she’d tell her younger self with the wisdom she has now in her ’70’s?

“Never look back and say, ‘I didn’t try,’” says Lowden. “I’ve tried everything from skydiving to scuba diving…I was raised not to be adventurous, and my husband brought that out in me. Go with it! Also…Always thank your teachers.”

December 9, 2015
Career coach and TEDx Talk speaker says to reinvent and believe in yourself

Boomer reinvention coach, John Tarnoff (Photo/Travis Price)

For the majority of his life, John Tarnoff says he “was all over the place.” Growing up in New York, he thought he wanted to be an architect, a journalist, a lawyer, until one summer he ended up working as a production assistant after his freshman year at Amherst College, and it captured his imagination.

In the 1990’s, he worked as a film studio executive and producer for MGM, Columbia, New Line and Warner Bros. He then transitioned to technology. Tarnoff co-founded a startup which used computer animation to make online avatars for customer service applications for clients such as Sprint.

“Coming out of that, I hit a wall – that’s where the reinvention comes in,” says Tarnoff.

Reinvention has been part of his brand ever since then. During the unstable economic times of the early 2000’s, Tarnoff decided to go back to school for a masters in spiritual psychology. He was 50.

Today, at 63, he is a professional development coach, a graduate professor at Carnegie Mellon, and in the process of writing a book called ‘Boomer Reinvention: How to Create Your Dream Career After 50,” coming out in 2016. He is also a speaker about issues facing generations and has more than 24K Twitter followers.

Tarnoff, who ended up dropping out of grad school, because he was eager to work, highly recommends going to school later in life.

“Older generations sometimes feel like they are too old, but it was better than going to school at 20,” says the coach and educator. “You are doing it for the right reasons. You are going because you know exactly what it is you want to do.”

Why did he decide to study spiritual psychology?

“Because you learn to find the answers inside you,” he says. “It’s an approach of psychology that stresses personal responsibility and getting out of the blame game. I think we all need to get help and support, but the primary motivator in any direction in our personal life and careers needs to start deeply inside ourselves. What is it that we can do to make a difference?”

Tarnoff jokingly said in his 2012 TEDx Talk, that he’s had 18 jobs over 38 years – moving around every 2.1 years (from film production to education), and he’s been fired 39 percent of the time. But none of that time has been a waste. He says each of his jobs has only gotten better.

“My favorite job is the one I’m doing right now…I live a pretty virtual life,” says Tarnoff, about his typical day at his home base in Los Angeles. “I just got back from Atlanta speaking about how the world has changed since just 20 years ago. I’m back and forth from my home office and Carnegie Mellon office, always looking for places to write.”

He says writing his book and engaging with his students is really inspiring him right now.

“I love engaging with them each year with the launching of their careers in the entertainment business,” says Tarnoff. “They have so much energy and so much to offer. Then, I also work with people who are 30 to 40 years older. They’re at a stage which used to be the end of their career. Today, things are different. Not only are there economic differences, but spiritual issues – they are wanting to continue to live fulfilling lives and being engaged in the economy and society. I think for my generation, the idea of retiring and separating yourself is largely over. Even for people who have saved enough money, they don’t want to slow down or stop. You’re seeing more of these people engaged in encore careers and social entrepreneurship. I think that’s fantastic!”

He says one of the most common challenges his clients face is figuring out what they want, or should be, doing next.

“Many times, we figure out there are many things we are going to do and life is an evolution,” says Tarnoff. “I think this is particularly true for millennials. Businesses are changing too fast…Now the problem is how figuring out how can we contribute – how can we help someone out, help solve a problem? We can figure out what we’re good at by trying to help others out. I tell my grad students, all you have to offer is your willingness to learn and willingness to serve. Having a service mentality will lead you to discover what it is you’re good at.”

What is one piece of important life advice that you would give your younger self with the wisdom you have now?

“Believe in yourself more. Particularly in those moments that you really want to just give up. In your deepest darkest moment, that’s when you have to double down and believe in yourself and take the leap of faith. ‘Leap and the net will appear,’” says Tarnoff. “I think young people are thinking, ‘I can’t do that. What if I make a mistake?’ You should be making mistakes regularly. Fail often, and fail big. When you’re older, you can still make mistakes and recover well. Life is all about lessons.”

November 10, 2015
The love of nature bringing people together – one national park at a time

Audrey and Frank Peterman on their boat “Limitless.” (Courtesy Audrey Peterman)

Audrey Peterman grew up on the lush island of Jamaica where she says there was often no choice between outdoors and indoors. She was always at home in wildlife.

“We bathed in the river,” she recollects. “We went to the woods to collect firewood. We went to the fields to get green bananas and potatoes. I was very much into nature.”

Little did she know however, that at 64, she’d be living on a sailboat, with her husband Frank, off a marina in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and be a U.S. national park expert – having visited a total of 171 around the country. It’s been 20 years since she and Frank started their own business, Earthwise Productions – inspiring hundreds of thousands to discover and support our national parks. In 2012, she wrote “Our True Nature,” the first travel guide to the national parks written by an African American woman.

Peterman moved to New York at 28 to join her mother in 1979. Six years later, after moving to Fort Lauderdale, to escape the cold winters of NYC, she met Frank.

“We became instant best friends,” she says in her gregarious manner. “He was so exciting as a writer and a person, I tried to set him up with all of my girlfriends, and it was a disaster. It’s not often that you have a great male friend. We did get together, several years later. It’s been 23 years now that we’ve been married.”

She says their entire married life has included a close relationship with nature.

“When Frank and I got married, we’d go for our morning walks,” says Peterman. “Not only would he identify the birds that he saw, but also the birds that he heard. Now I can tell by the call too, but I never thought it was possible to do that. We are very attune to the outdoors.”

Peterman says it wasn’t until 1995 when they decided to drive around the country and see America. They were about to open a bed and breakfast in Belize, but while Frank was having a drink there before flying home, a local asked him about the Badlands and the Grand Canyon, and Frank said he’d never been.

“The gentleman said, ‘What? What kind of American are you?’,” recalls Peterman. “Frank said, ‘We cannot go to Belize if we do not know our own country.’ So we decided to take two months off to travel. We bought a Ford truck. We drove from the Atlantic to the Pacific – Yellowstone to Yosemite, and we didn’t see any blacks or Hispanics…We thought, ‘How is this possible?’ We decided that we would make a change. A lot of friends didn’t know of these places.”

She says seeing so many beautiful places they did not know about encouraged them to start their own company to bring information about our national forests to other people who didn’t know.

“The French philosopher, Albert Camus, once said, ‘All a man’s life consists of the search for those few special images in the presence of which his soul first opened.’ That’s what I’m all about,” says Peterman. “From the first moment I saw my first national park – Acadia in Maine – my soul opened so extensively like I was looking into the face of God…When I had that feeling, I wanted to share that with everybody. What it feels like to feel so small, and yet you’re safe. I experience it over, and over, and over, again. That’s why I can’t stop. I didn’t choose my mission, my mission chose me.”

Peterman says they’re busier than ever now, because now they have to travel the country speaking about climate change,” says Peterman. “At this point, it’s all hands on deck. It’s affecting us right now.”

What is the most important piece of life advice that she would give her younger self at her age now?

“I would say keep a more open mind and not to jump to conclusions so readily,” she says. “I think that when we’re younger we see something as it is, but there could be so many reasons it appears that way, but it’s not so at all. Because you think it, doesn’t make it so. There could be another interpretation. Especially something that hurts you – don’t assume that that’s what it is. Even now at 64, I find that as much as I’m striving not to do it, it really takes work not to jump to conclusions.”

October 7, 2015