Wiser With Age

Category: Advice

  • In my Mother’s Words: On Following the Crowd

    In my Mother’s Words: On Following the Crowd


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    When you’re a kid you want to fit in with the crowd. You don’t want to stand out. I remember I used to watch shows like “Full House” and DJ would have Kimmy Gibbler sleep over all the time. I had friends who were allowed to sleep over their friends’ houses. Not this girl.

    When some of my friends were allowed to go to the movies without adult supervision, at around age 10, I was not. I used to tell my mom it wasn’t fair because other kids’ parents let them do things I wasn’t allowed to. Her response always was:

    “Es qué tú no eres del montón! Tú eres mía.â€

               (You’re not a part of the bunch! You’re mine.)

    At the time I detested that answer. I wanted to be part of the bunch! As I’ve gotten older these words have helped me more than I could have ever imagined. I’m very competitive and when you’re competitive you compare yourself a lot. I try to repeat these words to myself as much as I can.

    I think back now and I laugh. I had no business sleeping over anyone’s house or going to the movies without adult supervision when I was 10. Not following the masses is always tough but in the end I’m grateful to have a mom who raised me to not be a part of the masses.

    I’m not a part of the bunch. I’m my own person and I’m hers. Besides, I’m not trying to share her with anyone (besides my brother) anyways.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: A lifetime of lessons

    In My Mother’s Words: A lifetime of lessons


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bélgica Moll with her two children circa 1987.

    Age 5: I saw a woman use a basket full of crayons and her broken English to teach me my colors. I learned who your first teacher really is.

    Age 7: I saw a woman who saw herself alone with two small children to raise. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. I learned about the unexpected hits life may give.

    Age 8: I saw a woman who wiped her tears, held her head high and knew she had to move forward. I learned about perseverance.

    Age 10: I saw a woman who worked overnights so she’d never miss any athletic or schooling events. I learned that sleep is a luxury when it comes to being a mom.

    Age 13: I saw a woman hold her brother’s hand and pray as he was taking his final breaths. She knew it was his time to rest. I learned about endless religious faith and selflessness.

    Age 15: I saw a woman who picked up an extra job on the weekends passing out flyers and wearing a sandwich board just so I could have a quinceañera party. I learned that there is no shame in an honest living.

    Age 19: I saw a woman oozing with pride because her eldest graduated college. Her goal was halfway complete. I learned how much value “a little piece of paper,†(as she calls college degrees), contained.

    Age 21: I saw a woman who handed her car keys over to me after I totaled my car. She was just glad I was ok. She took the bus for a month after that. Of course, she didn’t tell me. I learned that there is a solution for everything except death.

    Age 22: I saw a woman whose ultimate goal in life had been met. She put both her kids through college. She was done. I learned about the value of hard work and unconditional love.

    Age 24: I saw a woman who went to New York for the first time. She had always wanted to see the Statue of Liberty and wasn’t sure if she ever would. I learned that it’s never too late, it will always be just as sweet.

    Age 26: I saw a woman who became the life of the party! She’s loved by all her children’s friends. I learned the fine art of balancing being a parent and a friend.

    Age 28: I see a woman who is finally making her life about her, until her kids call saying they’re flying her to Chicago for Mother’s Day or need her to drive up to Atlanta with them. I’m learning that being a mom is a job that’s never over, but there’s never a dull moment.

    All her words of wisdom and advice are proven true as time goes on. However, her actions are what constantly leave me baffled and humbled to know someone out there loves me so much. The best part is her reaction to this post will be:

    “Bueno mija, y de que otra me quedaba? Pa’lante y pa’lante.â€

               (Well, my daughter, what other choice did I have? Onward!)

    She’s right. Happy Mother’s Day, Mami!

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bélgica with her kids all grown up in 2013.

    For the article in Spanish, click here. 

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up

    In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bélgica circa 1982 at 27 on her wedding day.

    As I’ve said many times before my mom is my best friend, but I also share her. My mom is one of my great friend’s best friends. I’m not kidding. Since I left Miami, they have served as a support system for one another. It’s kind of adorable!

    I also know that they share secrets and trash talk about me. They’re two golden girls who enjoy grabbing a margarita at the nearby Mexican restaurant.

    Unfortunately, my friend has a habit that he sometimes forgets about dates he scheduled with my mom. Or he’ll sometimes set his alarm for 5pm, instead of 5am, when he’s supposed to drive her to the airport. Thankfully, he’s a self-proclaimed “mess,†and really good looking, so we just roll our eyes at him. But, every time my mom gets stood up she says:

    “Me dejo vestida y alborotada como novia de pueblo!â€

    (Loosely translated: I was left all dressed up and ready to go like a small town bride!)

    Not sure how factual this is, but it seems as if back in the day small town brides would get stood up. I’ve never witnessed it, but I have seen it in novelas (Spanish language soap operas) –  so I’m going with it! It’s her funny way to think about what is many times a frustrating situation. My mom always tries to put a positive and comical spin on things. After all, what else can you do?

    But, she did make a beautiful bride 30+ years ago. So, I guess it’s not so terrible after all.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: Giving credit where credit is due

    In My Mother’s Words: Giving credit where credit is due


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    One day a colleague was telling two of us a story about a good friend’s daughter who was getting married. He said the reception was going to be at a venue where coincidentally his cousin works. As the conversation evolved, he told us that his cousin just so happened to give said friend a discount. The cousin gave the discount out of the goodness of his heart, it had nothing to do with my colleague. However, my colleague told his friend it was his doing!

    I looked at him and said, “Wait, so you took credit for it, and it had nothing to do with you?†He laughingly replied, “You bet I did.†I looked at the other colleague (one of my favorites) in disbelief and repeated my mother’s words:

    “Mira a este saludando con sombrero ajeno.â€

               (Loosely translated: Look at this guy greeting with someone else’s sombrero.)

    Maybe it’s because I’m a journalist, but how are you going to go around take credit for something you didn’t earn? My mom is the type of woman who is there for everyone and never expects any credit. (But, that doesn’t mean that when someone else takes credit for her doings she won’t call me and chatter about it. #Hispanicmoms)

    The best thing out of that whole conversation was my colleague laughing and telling me I needed to start writing down all of my mother’s phrases and words of wisdom. Here we are! And here I am giving credit where credit is due.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done

    In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    My mom is pretty pragmatic. She doesn’t dwell and tries to finds solutions rather than sit there and overanalyze. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m quite the dweller. I’ll think of a solution and get it handled in the moment, but then I’ll go back after the fact and think, overanalyze, ruminate, question and drive myself crazy.

    Most people say they don’t have regrets because every decision they’ve made has made them the person they are. Sooner or later you’re supposed to always get an answer to your “why,†right? I’m currently at a phase in my life where I have an unanswered “why.†Of course, in my domino effect of a brain lacking the answer to this “why†connects to many things, even my car. Yes, I’m that much of a looney tune. Hey, at least I’m self-aware!

    When I was talking to my mom about this she said to me:

    Agua pasada no mueve molino.

              (Bygone streams don’t power windmills.)

    Honestly, I don’t know when in her life she’s ever, if ever, lived near a windmill or where this refrán (saying) came from. What I will say is that when she said this to me it rattled my mind, and I laughed. Point is, she made me feel better by referencing some mythical windmill, and it was a nice reminder of why I go to her.

    She doesn’t have an answer for everything, because no one does, but she always pulls through with just the right words.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€