Wiser With Age

Tag: mother’s advice

  • In my Mother’s Words: 6 greatest moments in 61 years

    In my Mother’s Words: 6 greatest moments in 61 years


    My mom celebrated her 61st birthday on Tuesday. Thankfully, she’s still hanging out with me in NYC until I get my apartment and am all settled. I decided to ask her what her top six moments of the last 61 years have been. Here you go (in chronological order and not necessarily order of importance):

    1. Her wedding day – My mother has always said her wedding day really was one of the best memories of her life. She remembers being full of hopes, dreams and excitement.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    2. The day she gave birth to each of us – My mom loves us limitlessly. She says despite the painful experience of child birth, and how hard it is to raise kids, she wouldn’t have it any other way. I tell ya, we aren’t easy cookies so there’s a lot of love and patience there.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    3. The day my brother and I each graduated college – For my mother this was her American dream. All she wanted was to raise two professionals. We did it!
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    4. Visiting the Sanctuary of Our Lady of Lourdes in Lourdes, France - My mom is a very devout Catholic and says ever since she was a little girl she dreamt of traveling to Lourdes but never thought it’d be possible. Thankfully, she checked it off her bucket list. (photo credit: Mom)
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    5. Seeing my grandmother turn 91 – My grandmother is not only 91 but is as healthy as a horse. She’s a little frail like most of us would be, but has a sharp tongue paired with sharp wit. She went to the doctor a few weeks ago and tried hitting on the man! Here she is surrounded by mariachis on her 91st in Tegucigalpa, Honduras.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    6. Vacationing in Argentina with my brother and I- This was probably the most surprising one for me. She told me that for her “eso fue lo máximoâ€Â (it was awesome). When I asked her why, she said she never imagined us being all together on vacation somewhere like Argentina. When we were younger we didn’t go on vacation and any trips were to Honduras to see family. It was a fun treat to be all together…sipping on wine…lots of wine.
      A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    From listening to her I was reminded of the importance of gratitude. She’s so thankful for all of these experiences. She’s humbled by so many of them and realizes how fortunate we are. She doesn’t feel entitled or like these are experiences she’s earned. She’s just grateful.

    The crazy thing is five out of her six best moments have happened in the last 31 years. As usual, she reminds me it’s never too late.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in New York City. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up

    In my Mother’s Words: Being Stood Up


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.
    Bélgica circa 1982 at 27 on her wedding day.

    As I’ve said many times before my mom is my best friend, but I also share her. My mom is one of my great friend’s best friends. I’m not kidding. Since I left Miami, they have served as a support system for one another. It’s kind of adorable!

    I also know that they share secrets and trash talk about me. They’re two golden girls who enjoy grabbing a margarita at the nearby Mexican restaurant.

    Unfortunately, my friend has a habit that he sometimes forgets about dates he scheduled with my mom. Or he’ll sometimes set his alarm for 5pm, instead of 5am, when he’s supposed to drive her to the airport. Thankfully, he’s a self-proclaimed “mess,†and really good looking, so we just roll our eyes at him. But, every time my mom gets stood up she says:

    “Me dejo vestida y alborotada como novia de pueblo!â€

    (Loosely translated: I was left all dressed up and ready to go like a small town bride!)

    Not sure how factual this is, but it seems as if back in the day small town brides would get stood up. I’ve never witnessed it, but I have seen it in novelas (Spanish language soap operas) –  so I’m going with it! It’s her funny way to think about what is many times a frustrating situation. My mom always tries to put a positive and comical spin on things. After all, what else can you do?

    But, she did make a beautiful bride 30+ years ago. So, I guess it’s not so terrible after all.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done

    In My Mother’s Words: What’s done is done


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    My mom is pretty pragmatic. She doesn’t dwell and tries to finds solutions rather than sit there and overanalyze. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m quite the dweller. I’ll think of a solution and get it handled in the moment, but then I’ll go back after the fact and think, overanalyze, ruminate, question and drive myself crazy.

    Most people say they don’t have regrets because every decision they’ve made has made them the person they are. Sooner or later you’re supposed to always get an answer to your “why,†right? I’m currently at a phase in my life where I have an unanswered “why.†Of course, in my domino effect of a brain lacking the answer to this “why†connects to many things, even my car. Yes, I’m that much of a looney tune. Hey, at least I’m self-aware!

    When I was talking to my mom about this she said to me:

    Agua pasada no mueve molino.

              (Bygone streams don’t power windmills.)

    Honestly, I don’t know when in her life she’s ever, if ever, lived near a windmill or where this refrán (saying) came from. What I will say is that when she said this to me it rattled my mind, and I laughed. Point is, she made me feel better by referencing some mythical windmill, and it was a nice reminder of why I go to her.

    She doesn’t have an answer for everything, because no one does, but she always pulls through with just the right words.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: When I played a practical joke on my mother

    In My Mother’s Words: When I played a practical joke on my mother


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    My last semester in college I was the morning show intern at a Spanish language radio station. One of the segments on the morning show was called “Oye Que Te Cojo†(“Hey, I got you.”) Basically, fans would call in with ideas for a prank call and the main host would execute it and play it on air. Well, one day he asked me why we didn’t play a practical joke on my mom. I was ALL for it.

    We started brainstorming, and he suggested maybe telling my mom I was pregnant. I told him she wouldn’t believe that. However, the one thing my mom ALWAYS worries about is drinking and driving. That was it! I would call my mom and tell her I got pulled over and arrested for a DUI.

    The next day, I called her and told her I had gotten pulled over after a night out. I put on my best crying voice, exaggerated the story, and said I argued with the cop and even flicked him off. It was two weeks before graduation and I told her I didn’t know if I’d be allowed to graduate. NOT ONCE did she get mad. All she kept saying was:

    Ayyy Victoria! Por qué, Victoria?! Por qué?!

             (Ohhh Victoria! Why, Victoria?! Why?!)

    Then, in the middle of it all, the host of the morning show starts talking to her about the situation without even introducing himself. The most bizarre thing was the fact she didn’t question who this strange man talking to her was! He finally told her it was just a prank, and none of it was true. Poor thing. When I called her, after the fact, she told me when she answered my call she was driving and had to pull over because she got cold sweats.

    What I will say is that was a reminder of the unconditional love my mom has for us. She could’ve lost her mind, she would’ve had every right to. She wasn’t mad – she was disappointed, which is arguably worse. She didn’t yell, curse or condemn me. Knowing her, she was racking her brain to figure out how to fix this for her daughter – a daughter who pulled a horrible prank on her mother for thousands of people in the city of Orlando to hear.

    You can listen to the audio (in Spanish) here.

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€

  • In My Mother’s Words: On being independent

    In My Mother’s Words: On being independent


    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.

    I’ve always been terrible at building things. I’m impatient and try to skip steps.

    Recently, I moved into a new home and decided to give this building furniture thing a try. Not only did I build my dresser all by myself, but I built my bed frame as well! I felt like it was a victory for all womankind!

    Granted, it’s not suffrage or anything, but with the help of Romeo Santos and some determination I got the job done! (Full disclosure: My male roommate totally volunteered to help me. When I told him I had finished it, he was “hurt and excited,†because it was supposed to be a “community project.†I told him it wasn’t personal and reassured him it was me and not him.)

    After I built my dresser and told a friend he said me, “I’m always impressed with you.†Building furniture is nothing impressive, but I think he reacted this way because he’s always complimented me on how independent I am. I grew up in a home where my mom painted the house on her own, she checked the oil in her car and even changed her tires. She never waited on anyone, and she never asked anyone for help. She always said she didn’t want to inconvenience others.

    My mother has always told me:

    Naciste sola y vas a morir sola.

    (You were born by yourself, and you’re going to die by yourself.)

    Are these words harsh? Yeah. Are they true? Yes. By no means did she give me this advice so I would think I’d spend my final days alone. She said this so I would learn to be independent and not wait on others to make decisions or to do things. Today was one of those days I found myself repeating those words.

    This phrase has molded me beyond words. I love to vacation alone. I love challenging myself. To a certain point, I even love doubting myself. It’s like one side of my brain taunts the other and says, “You can’t do this.†Meanwhile, the other defiantly replies, “Watch me.â€

    My mother is a woman who has done it ALL by herself. I don’t know if I can be at her level, but I can sure as hell try!

    A woman with short hair wearing red necklace.Victoria Moll-Ramirez is a broadcast journalist based in Atlanta, GA. She is originally from Miami, FL and had the great fortune of being raised by the sassiest, spunkiest, wisest, most hysterical Honduran woman in the world. Victoria’s mother, Bélgica, is 60-years-old, resides in Little Havana (Miami) and enjoys a good margarita accompanied by a heartrending ranchera. Victoria blogs about her mom’s funny and wise sayings on, “In My Mother’s Words.â€